Sunday, January 04, 2009

Happily Ever After

Yahoo recently had an article on how to live happily ever after. And since I've been married for 25 years (plus the 6 we were dating equals 31 -- egad!), I'd like to share my experience with one of their steps. (Some of them, like fighting the right way, I can't even comment on, because we don't fight right. I get mad and he doesn't. There's no satisfaction in that.)

Step #1: Find a shared dream for your life together.

Our first shared dream was always to own our own home. We bought our first house at age 25, a cute little cottage in a not-so cute but affordable neighborhood. One of the 2 10x10 bedrooms was given over to the Handy Husband's stereo.

Here, he first indulged his home improvement urges. He was in the middle of remodeling the kitchen on his own when we discovered our dream house. After much stress (this whole episode probably qualifies for step 6) we finished the kitchen (with the help of an amazing team of carpenters), found a buyer for the first house, and bought the dream house.

I did this post for our 20th anniversary in our current home. Our kids have never lived anywhere else. The dream of owning our own home has evolved over the years into the dream of making our home together with our family. Ernest says we can't ever get divorced and make him move, that HE is keeping the house. That boy's got a taproot, all right.

When the kids are gone, our dream will have to evolve again. But we're flexible. It doesn't matter where we will be, it will still be home.

10 comments:

dkuroiwa said...

Wait. There's a "right way to fight"? REally? We don't really fight here...I can't in Japanese and he can't in English..so we just snarl...ignore for a while...and then we're done.

I love your house. (Holy Hell...THAT's a Bar-B-Que!!)
I'm envious that your sons have grown up in just one house. It's almost impossible for us to buy over here...don't really want to though...but...we do have the same dream of someday living in Hawaii...or maybe Guam...so that's good. Right?

The Guider said...

Our shared dream is Christmas in Italy the first year neither kid is available to come home. You know, when they have to divide up their time at Christmas between their parents and their other half's parents. We won't be sitting home miserable, we'll be in Umbria.

Vanessa said...

Your first house was adorable! Call me crazy, but I love home improvement projects, especially the do it yourself type, so satisfying!

Jen on the Edge said...

I love your shared dream.

The one thing I hate about our upcoming move is leaving the house where my babies came home. In fact, our new house was originally going to be built after the girls went to college and it was going to be our empty nester home. But then we decided that we wanted this to be a family thing and hurried so that that the girls could have half of their childhoods in this new house.

i am very mary said...

Our shared dream is remodeling houses for other people to rent, and we're on our way!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Awww. That's so sweet. I don't fight right either. He's asleep and here I am all pissed off and staring at my computer screen. Heh.

Tricia said...

I'm quite positive my husband and I don't fight right either, but we know how to make up and that's what counts, right?

I look forward to hearing about the evolution of your dream as time goes on.

Memarie Lane said...

We don't really have a shared dream. Are we screwed? He wants to own a house and property, I could care less. Can't take it with you, ya know?

Louise said...

Still not in my dream house. You are blessed.

Louise said...

I should have added that it's not that I'm NOT blessed--I am--but just not with my dream house.