Sunday, July 08, 2012

A Tragic Turn

While my prescheduled posts have happily paraded themselves onto the internet, life at home has taken a tragic turn.

We lost our beloved McQueen.  Sadly, accidentally, in the deep dark night.  No teen suicide, drugs, or foul play involved. Perhaps a concussion from a stupid bike stunt the week before played a part.  Nuff said.   Giving the family the privacy that celebrities beg for.  

He was so loved by the entire town.  We had an event on Sunday.  It started with a few kids wanting to have hot dogs and take a bike ride in the park in his memory...and ended with a community sharing their love and memories on a lovely Sunday afternoon.

When it was time for speakers, "Mr. T," his seven year old brother spoke first.  "I love my brother."  I didn't hear the rest because my heart was already broken.  And stupidly for me, I was trying to get rid of a push pin that had punctured one of Mr. T's crocs. Earlier he told me I should not throw it away, that we needed to save it to use again  (little mr. reuse or recycle) so when he got up to speak I went to pin it on a board.  Stupid me.  I wished I had not paid attention to Mr. T's orders, but listened to his words about his brother instead.    But I did pay attention during the worst, hardest, most difficult time.  I held Mr. T as he cried at 3:30 am on the night his brother died, while his parents had to deal with their worst nightmare.  

Hello English teachers, I was looking for synonyms for worst so as not to seem repetitive but I can tell you right now there is nothing worse than worst.  And as bad as my worst feels, it is no where near what his parents' worst is.  

My heart was broken yet again when Mr. T told me, "I don't want to be an only child."  I told him that McQueen would always be his brother.  And Frank and Ernest have vowed to always be there for him.  There's also a whole community of big brothers and sisters.  

McQueen was the town mascot.  Everyone knew him.  His orthodontist reminisced that thinking about his future, she could see him as the mayor.  He was a constant presence on his bike.  Shopkeepers would wave as he went by.  I know from personal experience, if I saw him on his bike I waved and went home smiling.  

Many spoke about his love of bikes.  But what about the Volkswagens?  That was shared by Mr. Rick, the school bus driver.  Kids that didn't know him that well regretted their loss.  One young man (thank you C.J.) composed and rapped his own tribute.  Art students were grateful for his support of their beautiful chalk art projects.  One of the bike shop dudes regretted he hadn't taken McQueen on a real trail ride, but we let him know that Ernest and McQueen had been on a real trail for their last ride together 2 weeks ago.  They were looking forward to more rides.   Another anecdote:  at freshman orientation when asked about their favorite food, our sweet guy immediately yelled out, "CANDY!!!"

I leave you with a parade of pictures of a dear spirit. I think I might possibly believe in heaven if there was a chance I could see him there again.

Say cheese?  Cause we've just eaten a cheesy pizza?


They're not couch potatoes.  They're couch sweetie patooties.  

This is unusually pensive.

What is in that sand?  Treasure?  

The end of the awesomest water battle ever.


Crying....  And missing him. Forever and ever, we love you McQueen.  

24 comments:

barbra said...

I am so, so very sorry for your loss.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm sorry.
I'm weeping at this tribute--it's the details--just heartbreaking.
What a loss.

dkuroiwa said...

so very, very sad for his family...your family...and everyone who knew him.

so very tragic.
but, your words were beautiful.

Mom on the Run said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Heartbreaking. Thinking of you.

Kizz said...

I just hate to hear this. So sorry.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

I am so, so sorry.
With tears in my eyes as I read and comprehend the loss for this community... as I try to comprehend the level of loss for you & your family... and crying as my heart goes out to you and his parents.
~♥~

Suburban Correspondent said...

I am so sorry to hear this - what a shock for his parents and brother! Thank goodness they have friends like you and your family.

Karen Jensen said...

Oh my gosh, Small Town Me! I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I am sending love and light right at you, your friends, your community.

Jen on the Edge said...

Oh no. I am just so very sorry.

Patience_Crabstick said...

I am so sorry. What a terrible loss for your entire community. I can't bear to think of what his parents are going through.

Susan said...

I am so sorry for you, your family, his family and your community. That kind of loss is such a shock and it changes kids perspective on things, in my experience.

Janet said...

gosh, what a shock to you all. I'm sorry about your loss.

Deborah J said...

So sorry. It's our worst nightmare isn't it? Too soon, too young...sending hugs.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Oh, I'm so very sorry. What a lovely memorial.

Cindy Adkins said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I just don't have the words to express...how sad.

Pretty Things said...

Oh this hurts my heart.

Jen said...

I am so sorry for you and the rest of your family. ((hugs))

cardinal said...

So sorry for your loss. I came from the confessional and just shudder at what you're facing You have written a wrenching and wonderful tribute.

cookingwithgas said...

What happens as we raise children is that we fall in love with other people's children as well. Their friends come into the world as wee ones just like ours and as they slip over to our houses they steal chucks of our hearts, nibbling away until you love them as much and feel for them as much as your own. I sometimes think of some of the neighbor kids as ,one of our own, just raised next door.
You loved him - my heart breaks for you all.
Peace-M

Aunt Snow said...

No, wait, stop. What happened? I am shocked. This is so sad. I am trying to go back and read your posts and find out what happened. What a terrible loss. Such a fine young man.

Barb said...

Back in 2007, in August before our big move to the Northeast in early 2008, our next door neighbors' son was killed in a car accident. He was 17. I still can't believe he's gone. and watching his parents virtually disappear in front of us was one of the most heart wrenching things I've ever see. Such good people. Such an unfathomable loss. Today they are doing better but the loss is still so fresh for all of us. My heart is with you and McQueen's family.

Minnesota Matron said...

Oh no, my dear. My heart is breaking for you too. Lovely post -- strikes right to the core. I'm with you in this mode of mourning right now.

T.J. said...

I am so very sorry for your and the community's loss. How are there even words to right to comfort you? I have no idea. Sending prayers of healing and peace.

Meredith said...

Heidi, this was a beautiful tribute.
He seemed like a wonderful boy and I'm so sorry to hear about this. :(