Back from Oz

We saw Ozzy Osbourne last night. I can report that he was able to speak reasonably coherently and could walk a semi-straight line. When he came out on stage, I thought "I bet he's got only an hour of performance in him." Well, his show lasted an hour and 20 minutes but 20 minutes of it was an interminable (def. #2) guitar solo. (Some woman liked it enough to flash her breasts at him, which the whole arena saw on the big screen TV. Twice.) So I was spot on!

His voice is shot, he wasn't miked properly, his songs were oddly arranged, he didn't sing Iron man, and he is an attention wh*re. "Do you want to hear another song? Let me f***ing hear you." Over and over. Hey, maybe you can't hear the audience because 1) you are deaf and 2) they don't care that much? And he didn't think that much of the audience. First he tossed a couple of buckets of water on the front rows, then he got off on spraying them with foam. Again and again. I don't think his roadies liked it. One guy had to come out every time and wipe off the TelePrompter in front of his mike.

What did I like? The guitarist's black UtiliKilt. Maybe it was custom made, it was fuller and more ragged. And the opening video montage, which put Ozzy into scenes from movies and TV. As Cap'n Jack Sparrow, he bit the head off a parrot. And he said he was donating the night's proceeds to Sharon's cancer foundation.

And surprisingly, what I liked the best was his opener Rob Zombie.

Well, there was a chick singing first. A group called In This Moment. She wore white kneesocks and a fluffy little girl dress. I think the HH liked that. She screamed a lot, but not as good as Jada Pinkett Smith in Wicked Wisdom. And Jada can stick her tongue out really really far.

Then there was Rob Zombie. I can't watch his movies, but I would definitely see him in concert again. Alone. Without Ozzy.