A Fairy Tale Wedding

It was a fairy tale wedding, wasn't it?

It even had evil stepsisters. (cousins, whatever)





I expected her to come out after them...

Good News Bad News

• The Bad News is we have termites again. Didn't this just happen a year ago?
• The Good News is that we don't have to have the house tented again, because they are subterranean termites, not drywood termites.
• The Bad News is that we only had a drywood termite warranty, so we have to pay for this treatment.
• The Good News is we don't have to send the kitties to jail board at the vet's for 3 days.
• The Bad News is I will have to shut them in a bedroom because the pest control people are going to drill holes through our living room floor.
• The Good News is the rest of the holes will be outside.
• The Bad News is I can't think of another Bad News.
• The Good News is I don't have to pack up all the food in the cupboards. What a pain that was, although I did end up with clean cupboards afterwards!
• So I guess I'm ending on a Good note.

The Rest of My Time Off

Day 3:

After running errands (hello, giant bag of cat litter), I took some pictures and also took myself out to lunch. Hello self! Did you enjoy your gyro? I sure did!

I also cooked. What else is new. Pork Tenderloin with Apricots and Prunes.

Day 4:

Handy took the day off, so we dropped Ernest off at Hogwarts and then went out to breakfast. I crashed after that and tried to take a nap, but his ringtone (Baba O'Reilly) woke me up. Yeah, it was that kind of day. Handy barbecued chicken and sausage for dinner. Yay!

Day 5:

I went to the thrift store for more saucers for the queen. Only found one. But look at my fantastic find!

Out to lunch and leftover barbecue for dinner. My kind of day!

More Cake

Since we didn't make much of a fuss for Ernest's birthday, we thought he deserved a little more cake, this time with cousins around to sing Happy Birthday to him.

So Frank went to town again, and created these masterpieces.

They were too cute to poke candles in, so we created the litterbox (not to worry, it's just cake crumbs and frosting) for the candles.

Guest Mr. T was well-dressed, wearing one of Ernest's old ties...It's Mr. T's now.

Madame is Ready

Presenting Her Royal Majesty, Queen Francine:



Serve me. Now. On Fine China.

Bought at the thrift store for 25¢ (or 25 ALT-0162). Gilt-edged, no less.

The Queen's Favorite. Although she will deign to eat more plebian food.

Handy even made her a throne. Sometimes we serve her up there to keep Homer from eating her portion. He can't make the jump up there (from Floor to TV Stand to Throne).



But our queen has her casual moments. When she's rolling on the floor with her belly exposed, she's not Queen Francine, she's FiFi. Was Queen Victoria ever called Vicky?

Homer's nicknames are all related to his girth. D'oh.

The Daily Drive: Truffula Trees

There are truffula trees at Hogwarts. I know, I'm mixing up my book analogies, but look at these! They've been fascinating me for weeks.


Yesterday I finally got up close. It looks like a New Zealand Tea Tree.

I've been wanting one just for the color. But the nurseryman dissuaded me, saying they don't do well here. But then why is the nursery selling them, hmmmm? Maybe I'll give it a try.

Time Off

Day 1:

I housecleaned. Mostly related to cats. Vacuum cat hair. Clean cat barf. Deodorize cat pee. Clean cat boxes. I also did laundry, dishes, and whatnot. And cooked. Quiche.

Day 2:

I achieved my spring break goal. Return my sewing room to a useable state. Gentle readers, there is no before picture. I assure you, you would have been paralyzed. Boxes of Christmas stuff, still out! In April! A bed (formerly Ernest's), leaning against the wall. Oh, I dare not confess any more but it was bad. Bad to the bone. Now it's tolerable.

Surprisingly, this massive improvement took less than two hours. It wore the cats out, investigating all the activity and running up and down the stairs after me. They were so tired, they didn't even make their usual meow at dinner time...Handy carried them downstairs (yes, they're spoiled).

The room's not perfect, but the bed is in place (replacing a cot which is now in a closet). Francine approves.



Christmas things also closeted. Knicknacks on the shelf.



Art on the wall. (My own copy of Jessie Willcox Smith.)



But now, what do I do with 49 barbies? I loved them when I bought them but stacked on a shelf where I cannot see them does me no good at all. This one says "Hi and Happy Birthday" to Debbie! I think she'll stay out and visit for a while.



And where do I put my Godey's lady's book pictures? (They used to be in Frank's bathroom, but I had to remove them. It wasn't right to expose those ladies to a mancave.)



I also took a walk. Bought 2 books. (Read that, read that, read that too. It's tough for me to find paperbacks.) Paid for Ernest's bike shorts. Nice store...if they know you they let you pay later. Cooked dinner (what else is new).



Day 3 : I haven't really gotten started yet, but I know we need cat litter!

Happy Birthday Ernest

Ernest's 15th birthday was Sunday but we weren't home, because he spent the day doing his favorite thing. Well, let me qualify. His favorite athletic thing. (Because cat petting and WoW playing are also some of his favorite things.)

His first bike race.



Then I made sure that he was suitably embarassed at breakfast at IHOP.



And he got an impromptu magic show from a teammate's dad.



And spent the afternoon riding around a track.





It's a good thing he doesn't have Zoolander Syndrome on a bike.



When we got home, Frank had made a birthday cake from scratch. It was delicious.

It was a good day.

Suited Up

Ernest has always been a model of sartorial elegance.





So when he said he needed "dress robes" for events at Hogwarts, I was happy to oblige. The tax refund came in handy!

And thanks to the BOGO sale at Men's Wearhouse, Frank went along for the ride and got suited up for free. (I don't have a picture of Frank yet.)

But here's Ernest, dressed up for Hogwart's Fancy Friday.



The shirt looks blue in the picture, but it is actually lavender, very close to the color of the wisterias. That's why I made him stand there. Then I made him do it all over again because of glare on the lens the first time.



Actually, that looks kind of artsy. Another of my miracles of bad photography.

Yo Ho Yo-Yo

We had an assembly on Wednesday. America's Most Popular Assembly, according to their website.

That's excellent advice for anyone. And from the way the kids were cheering, you'd think they thought so too. Or maybe it was just the yo-yo tricks.

You can imagine how disappointed I was when the third grade boys, playing soccer right afterwards, totally ignored the E. Instead of encouraging others, some of them were dissing others' playing ability. The dissers were benched.

So I didn't have very high hopes for the NED ZONE yo-yo area. Especially after Ernest advised me that the yo-yo was originally a weapon. How did he know that? My son, the walking wikipedia.

Much to my surprise, Thursday morning's NED ZONE yo-yo area had no problems at all! Some of those kids are really good! And everyone was happy and not whiny if they didn't get the technique right away.

If today goes as well as yesterday, that will be a great send-off for spring break.

Spring break?

SPRING BREAK?

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

What puts you in boldface big font italics right now?

Homer's Favorite TV Show

Why, it's the Daily Show. Of course, without opposable thumbs he really doesn't have a choice unless he accidentally sits on the remote. Or pees on it.

Yes, he peed on the remote. Once when the litter boxes were too full (of his business) he found somewhere squishy to pee. In this case, the remote happened to be on the pillow he used. Bye-bye remote.

(Notice I updated my title? I got the idea from Katie. Actually, one of her cats has his/her own blog right now. Homer and Francine haven't demanded that. Yet.)

The Bird is the Word

So play this, then page down for the story...



...about my roof stork.

Huh? Wha? Well, we live in the Tourist Capital of America where buildings have storks on the roofs for good luck. Our house originally had a stork on the roof, but the previous owner took it away with him 23 years ago. I've always been irritated by that. I would drive by his new house to make sure the stork was still where he put it in his yard. Then he died. And the stork disappeared... Our stork, that should have been on the roof of our house.

No, I did not steal it. I am honest. But I don't know what his heirs did with it. They probably didn't care about a weatherbeaten wooden 2x4 stork and tossed it in the trash. But I am still angry, because that stork was made for this house, our house, the house we have lived in longer than any other owners. Two previous owners left it on the house and then he stole it.

Wow, I have a lot of hostility there, don't I!!!

Anyway, my darling Handy Husband made my dream come true at Christmas and voila, the bird's the word:

THE BIRD IS THE WORD. AND HIS NAME IS FERD.

And because Handy built him, Ferd the Bird survived the massive storms with no problems. Passers-by like him!

35.

I honestly don't know if I'm going to make it till spring break, let alone the end of the year. I would have stayed home today (sore throat) but it's not worth the four phone calls I'd have to make to stay home.

Last week one tattler boy told me, "X says you have big fat [ethnic slur redacted -- it wasn't even my ethnicity] boobs." This week, we found a boy had written "bitch ass" on a paper. Probably about me because I made him do his math facts over again and he had a hissy fit. Someone else has lice, so my skin is crawling now.

The level of disrespect just keeps rising. Do their parents put up with it at home, or is that who they are learning it from? I asked the tattler worst offender what his parents do when he talks back. He said they ground him. I said I could ground him from recess! The look of horror!!!

I used to be a kind and patient person, but I guess now I'm just a bitch ass. They make me that way.

I need to hear something nice. Tell me something that's sweet in your world.

Like today is free cone day at Ben and Jerry's.

coexist

Homer and Francine coexist together like an old married couple.



Most of the time they hang out together.



They say hi ("prrrrt") when they pass in the hall.

Francine does get annoyed when he misses the toilet.


And when he eats her food. (Fortunately he can't get up on her new post.)



So occasionally she swats his fat butt.



Homer says his butt isn't fat, just his belly.

Francine says, same difference.