Go Norway!

I'm so proud to be half Norwegian.

Not only do their skiers dance on a mountaintop,



but also the Norwegian curlers' pants have their own Facebook page.



Go NORWAY!

School Stories part Whatever

It's been an exciting week at Smalltown School, and it's only Tuesday.

Yesterday, at Ernest's Upper Campus, the science teacher did an experiment with potassium and there was a lot of smoke and the alarm went off. That was perhaps the most exciting science class ever.

In my first grade neck of the woods, we've found interesting things on the playground. On Monday, it was a giant pile of doggie-doo. Today, it was a dead crow. Yes -- there it is:



First graders are sooooooo curious about these strange things! And of course when you tell them, "Step back, move away," they all creep closer.

Tomorrow will be equally thrilling -- the 8th graders have to be at school at 4 a.m. to leave for their 3-day trip to Catalina. I envy the two families that live right across the street from the school -- they can just push their kids out the door and they are there. The Handy Husband suggested drawing straws to see who will take Matthew to school, but I don't think he was serious.

Who is going to have to take Ernest to school at 4 a.m.? Smalltown Mom Handy Husband Frank view results

UPDATE: In a boldly surprising move, the Handy Husband volunteered to take Ernest at 4 a.m. Then he went to work early. Hooray for the HH!

Don't Call Me

Tootsie's got a complaint about telemarketers. That brought back vivid memories of one of my earliest blog posts (the fourth, to be exact) about the time when the Soap Opera Digest telemarketer swore at me. I can still hear his nasty voice in my mind. Ah, memories.

Funny thing, they still keep calling. They called today, as a matter of fact. I've asked them over and over again to put me on a "do not call" list. I try to keep my temper, really I do.

But I no longer succumb to phone solicitations. My alma mater, police charities, cancer societies, surveys...those are this month's most recent callers...sorry folks, you are SOOL (def. #2). I signed up for the national "Do Not Call" registry. Why isn't it working?

Please feel free to vent here...what's your biggest telemarketer complaint?

Mon Amour Secret

Valentine's day seems to be the perfect time to express my love for...



Ah, Pepe. Pepe my love.






Happy Valentine's Day.

National Condom Week

My M-I-L clued me in that this is national condom week, but I haven't found an official website. I love the line from The World According to Garp. "No glove, no love." If the glove fits, wear it.

Condoms are comical in Japan: all photos by Frank, 2008.

Pants Kingdom

What the ?? you are asking? I don't know either. A friend in Taiwan sent this to the Handy Husband today. Click on the picture for a better view.

"Even the biggest of birds can fit in our pants."

Methinks their translator substituted "birds" for another word meaning male chickens. But that's a green owl in there.

100

Today is the 100th day of school. That's a big thing for the little kids. They bring projects with 100 things, make hats and noisemakers, and parade around the school. For the staff, it means it's downhill from here on -- 80 days left!

What are you celebrating today?

The Wrong Box

I have an update on the mysterious package, which was supposedly sent by me (it wasn't) to the wrong address in England and caused me a very annoying 5 a.m. phone call.

Well, it came back to me. From England. Even though it really wasn't me that sent it. The customs declaration said clothing valued at $700. I was tempted to open it, but instead...

I took it to our local UPS store and fortunately was able to talk to someone who knew what he was doing. Here's a shout out to competent customer service personnel!!!

Probably my phone number was entered by mistake (one slipped digit can make a lot of difference -- I've had a lot of wrong numbers for a local cabinet shop). After he looked it up, he recalled some other packages going to England that day, sent by English people. He said he'd look into it, so I left the package there. This mystery is out of Nancy Drew's hands.

And as far as the real Wrong Box? That's where I learned everything I know about tontines. If they never find the owner of the box, maybe I will get it back in the end. That's sort of tontine-like.

I still wonder what was in it.

Jelly Beans

Ernest's 8th grade class took a field trip to the Reagan Library last week. I skipped this one...hanging with the whole class of 8th graders is too much like lunch duty! However, I am driving to Hearst Castle for the next CJSF field trip.

Ernest liked Air Force One a lot, but he couldn't take pictures inside. He was fascinated with how they built the building. The side walls were built, the plane was put in, then they added the end walls and the roof. My curious architect.


Now this is an interesting portrait.

Scary jelly bean teeth!


The kids were told to dress like you're going to work at the White House. Ernest had a white dress shirt and tie, and since he didn't have a suit jacket he wore his trench coat. I'm sure they wear trench coats in DC in the winter.

I did find a blue pinstripe suit jacket in my costume closet, but Ernest didn't want to wear it. It clashed with his black pants. That was a thrift shop find for Frank when he had a history class dress-up a couple years ago. I found a packet of Pop Tarts in the pocket. Eeew, gross, 2-3 year old Pop Tarts!

I wonder how old those jelly beans are.

Temptation

That donut hole lasted about 5 seconds after I took the picture. I'm trying to save the rice krispie treat for dessert.

But this is the real temptation:


Alice in Wonderland jewelry. I want.

What have you been tempted by today?