Marching to His Own Beat...or razor

It may be No Shave November or Novembeard or Beardvember or Movember for some, but not for Frank. He marches to his own beat. And so, he decided to shave.


And then he slightly regretted it because his face was cold. I think the beard will be regrown before the end of the month. If not the Guy Fawkes look, probably a Van Dyke.

And I remembered a book that his Bearded Handy Grandpa (my dad) sent to Frank many years ago...



I hope Frank's beard runs home soon. I miss it.

Hats

When I picked Ernest up at school Friday afternoon, he was wearing this:

(He declined to pose for the picture so the cat was conscripted.)

He wasn't the only student wearing a foil hat. Were they afraid of aliens reading their thoughts?

No, but if they wore one they got free ice cream.

I guess they'll do anything for free ice cream.

What is your Quest?

It's only his first day of vacation and already Ernest is bored. He doesn't like any of the fun quests I have suggested for him:

• take all his shoes upstairs
• bring down his sheets to wash
• pick up the trash and dishes in his room

What's wrong with those? He's just going to have to think of something on his own.

Meanwhile, my quest for the day was to find out what was making that stinking smell in the refrigerator. It wasn't any kind of leftovers. I'm really good about cleaning them out, after all my childhood traumas of mistakenly opening my aunt's stinky cheese containers. I pulled out everything, including the shelves, and found some suspicious pink dribbles along the shelf tracks. Aha! Stinky meat juice. I have washed the entire interior and it is clean, organized and ready to be stuffed full of Thanksgiving goodies.

But then my nose was overly sensitive, and I could smell the garbage, so I also cleaned out the cabinet under the sink. I see in the picture I forgot the toe kick so it's back on hands and knees for me.


WHAT... is your quest?
And more trivially, WHAT... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Revisiting the Deathly Hallows

With Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows opening at midnight,
I thought I'd revisit another midnight.

The book release party at midnight, July 21, 2007.
Ernest was the first person in our small town to get his copy.
He won the book and the first-in-line privilege at a school auction.
That beautiful young woman between us?
She's a dearest friend's daughter.
She bought her first Harry Potter book at that store.
She had to return for the last one.

Priceless.

The Daily Drive: Close Call

I learned something on the dark drive home from Hogwarts Tuesday night.

A deer running across the road does not prance like this.



It is simply a silvery brown blur in the headlights.

I didn't even see it coming. If Ernest hadn't seen the first deer run across the road and called out "DEER," I would have hit the second deer for sure. With his warning, I slowed and the deer flashed by me about 5 feet in front of the car.

Funny thing, it was just around the bend from the haunted house...

No, This is the Precious

No, Ernest would actually call THIS his precious...

The Precious?

That's what I call it. I don't know what Ernest calls it.


It sounds as good as it looks. He's practicing more. Is that because a) he likes playing the new one more or b) the music is more difficult?


After we heard the group play, we realized the answer is (b.


They sounded great. But what's with all the plaid?

Christmas Catalogs

This is the scariest Christmas catalog cover I've ever seen.

SANTA HAS PLUMBER BUTT!

Long Weekend

Ah, I am happily anticipating my 4-day weekend. What a treat!

I think I know what I'll be doing...look what showed up at the library for me! Why do so many holds come in at the same time?

What should I read first?

Preparationz

Life is more interesting when you laugh.

Driving home yesterday we had a hilarious discussion on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Have we been watching too many horror movies?

The Handy Husband started it...as we drove out of the neighborhood, he said, "Look, zombie-proof walls! We'll have to come here in case of a zombie attack." Ernest had already formulated an elaborate plan to get weapons at Wal-Mart, and then hole up in Costco (for the food).

But I think if we stayed home we'd have pretty good zombie defenses:

Ernest can sharpen his ninja sword.

Frank would prefer the fireplace poker. He's also got my childhood baseball bat tucked away in a corner of his apartment. And there's a wooden washboard up there -- you could seriously down some zombies with that.

Handy's got a plethora of zombie-smashing implements in our garage. Just imagine.

All I could think of was my rolling pin but that would put me at pretty close range. Maybe I could whack them with my Mary Poppins umbrella instead?

But please don't worry about me. I've got the moves already -- I own this t-shirt!



Zombie preparedness. It's a good thing.

The Fifth of November

Frank had a new look today.



Me: You look like the mask in V for Vendetta.


Frank: That was my intent. That's Guy Fawkes.


Me: Is this because it's Guy Fawkes Day today?
Frank: Really? I had no idea.

He just wanted to do something different with the beard. He should have done this for Halloween -- we've got a collar like that somewhere in the costume closet.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder treason and plot.
We see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

Guy Fawkes, guy, t'was his intent
To blow up king and parliament.
Three score barrels were laid below
To prove old England's overthrow.

By god's mercy he was catch'd
With a darkened lantern and burning match.
So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the bells ring.
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king.

And what shall we do with him?
Burn him!

http://www.bonfirenight.net/index.php

Happy Novembeard. Or is it Beardvember?

Coming to an End

I'm so glad it's election day because that means there is an end to the overload of political crap advertising:

• the TV commercials
• the signs - I confess, I have my first sign ever in my yard because my niece is running for school board
• the junk mail - some days that's all I get
• the phone calls - Oh, Leonardo diCaprio, why were you just a recording?
• the door-to-doors - Our current mayor gave us chocolate; his opponent did not. Do you think that swung my vote?

Don't forget to vote!

Refrigerator Cat

Our arthritic old cat loves to find a warm place to sit. On sunny days you can usually find her curled in a chair outside, or perched on Frank's steps. When we had the rainy spell last week, she found a new place to lie. Right in front of the refrigerator vent, which blows out a nice little stream of warm air. This made making breakfast difficult. Excuse me kitty, I need the milk. Excuse me kitty, I need the lunch meat. Excuse me kitty, I need the waffles.



She's pretty good at finding other equally inconvenient places to sleep, like on Ernest's gym bag during the morning frenzy.



I also think she has kitty alzheimers. She meows like crazy for food, we feed her, and 15 minutes later it's like she's forgotten and she's meowing again.


see more Funny Graphs