Oh, Fluey!

I was fluish on Sunday and Monday. There went my holiday weekend. I thought I was better, but then I relapsed Wednesday night with a 102 degree fever, etc. I didn't even have Mrs. G's nurse to stroke my fevered brow.

While I was sick, I didn't feel like eating or reading. That's so unlike me! I watched Comedy Central: Wayne's World, Wayne's World 2, and Spaceballs. I also enjoyed some old musicals: Finian's Rainbow, Brigadoon (coincidentally both were on Broadway in 1947), and Royal Wedding.

Now that the flu's gone, I have a cough and that lovely Lauren Bacall voice once more. I'm able to read again, so I finished up my last book for May and posted on my book blog. This month I tried 10 word reviews.

Why Won't Birds Use Our Birdbath?

Ernest made a cute birdbath in a crafts class a few years ago. But the birds never use it. This is why:

It's the cat's drinking fountain.

It took me a week to write about my birthday!

As I blogged earlier, I felt a little dismal after Mother's Day. I didn't want fancy gifts, but I would have liked some acknowledgement or recognition that I'm special and make a difference.

To be on the safe side and avoid disappointment, I put Ernest in charge of my birthday last Sunday. Since he is a conscientious, attentive child, I knew he would do well. He came through admirably.

Frank made a yummy cake. He got a recipe from a friend at school. She made the cake for their physics class and he said it was great. When he asked her advice about baking cakes, she happened to be carrying the printed recipe in her purse. It was Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Sheet Cake, so click on that link for the recipe.

Ernest took his dad shopping. They did well. In addition to a practical gift ordered from the internet (a thingie to scan the boxes and boxes of slides I inherited), I received some pretty things too: Hand painted wine glasses, tchotchke boxes, a coffee cup.

From my magical sister-in-law and her gentleman, a succulent wreath, only slightly bent by their dog J.R. sitting on it, and a bottle of amazing pinot noir.

From my lovely mother-in-law, some sparkly toe rings. And an unexpected gift from a friend of hers. She was explaining the toe rings to him, so he asked her to give me some nautch-girl jewelry he had collected on a trip to India, long ago. As an occasional belly dancer, I love exotic things like that. The most unusual piece? A poison ring. You know, with the not-so-secret compartment that flips open!

From my beloved niece, who is also the mother of 2 boys, some girly stuff! Handmade Danish chocolate, a tiara and a pink wand!

We went out to dinner where my niece's husband works. Great food and view, inefficient waitress. Then we went home for the cake.

From left to right: McQueen, Me in the pink tiara obviously, Mr. Thomas's head, and Ernest, eagerly awaiting the chocolatey yumminess. Look, my hair color is almost the same as Ernest's. I wish I had his curl.

And I do feel special now. Thanks, everyone.

What the????

We have had a strange weather week. Last weekend it was hot, Hot, HOT! 100 degrees. Then it cooled some and got windy. This morning, it is raining. What's next?

Shopping

Last week I saw the most gorgeous dress on the back of the Coldwater Creek Catalog. I had to have it, even though it wasn't on sale. I wracked my brain, begging, "Brain? Where can I wear this gorgeous thing?" Brain came through and reminded me of our 30 year HIGH SCHOOL REUNION in August. Yay! So, fast forward to when FedEx delivered it a few minutes ago and I'm wearing it right now and feeling like Angelina Jolie, but without a push-up bra. (Add that to the shopping list.) I may be overweight, but I'm going to look awesome at the reunion.
After I ordered the dress, I realized I needed some strappy black sandals. Frank enabled this by wanting my company on the long drive to his People to People meeting. So while he was at the meeting, I shopped.

Black shoes to go with the Angelina dress.


And then Cream shoes


to go with this dress ($39.99 through Coldwater Creek outlet), which I intended to wear for my birthday:




But it was hot, so I wore this instead:



With these shoes:


Yes, I bought 3 pairs of shoes last weekend.


It was the day before my birthday!!

The Rush Rush

A few words about the fans:

• Rush fans are loyal. Before the concert, there were text messages posted on the big screen TVs. "I love Rush, Rush changed my life, Rush Rocks, Geddy is God, Rush is the Best trio ever, etc." And some Mother's Day messages. Then there was one that seemed a little out of place: "My name is Bret and I like balls in my face." Oh dear, I'm glad I didn't have to explain that one.
• Rush fans love to air drum. A short, stout couple in front of us were drumming along and knew every beat. They wouldn't even stop when people passed in front of them.
• Rush fans drink a lot of beer. I may be generalizing here, and I apologize to the non-drinking fans. But there were long, long lines for the men's rooms! And no wait at all for the women. Highly unusual.

Our favorite moments, besides the music!:

• Frank's favorite moment was when Neil Peart dropped a drumstick. "The greatest drummer in the world dropped his drumstick," marveled Frank. "He looked pissed."
• Ernest loved the South Park clip, with Cartman wearing a Geddy Lee wig and massacring "Tom Sawyer." He says this was specially made for Rush, and not on any TV episode. He's my South Park expert.
• I loved the rotisserie chicken cookers on stage. Seriously! Alex Lifeson, the guitarist, has huge speakers behind him, so Geddy Lee balances his side out with large appliances. A person behind me said he had washers and dryers one year. This year, Henhouse chicken rotisseries.
• I think the Handy Husband loved everything.

We committed an unforgivable sin and left before the encore. I hate to do that. It's disrespectful to the artists. But if we hadn't, we would have been stuck in the parking lot for an hour or more.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I know I said I would be happy with a practical gift and I am... but... still.. The toilet arrived a week ago. And it was on my BIRTHDAY list.

So guess what I got for Mother's Day. Go on, guess. I'll give you a minute. Page down when you're ready.

That was it. NOTHING. Nada. Nil. Bubkes. Niente. Rien. ***See the note at the bottom.

There weren't even any Costco flowers from the HH, which I always gratefully receive. He could have used the new toilet as a vase! That would have been a great picture.

On the other hand, I did get to spend the entire day and evening with all my "boys," even though they were trapped in the car for 4 hours. We went to an awesome concert (but I got the tickets and the hotel). And I took a day off.

Concert blog later. (Hint, more Canadians!)


***And I meant nothing from the MEN in my family. My lovely Mother-In-Law and my Beloved Niece were very thoughtful. Wonderful Women!

Mother's Day

Yahoo Shine lists the 5 worst mother's day gifts but I disagree with a couple.

• Kitchen appliances: I wouldn't say no to a fancy appliance. A panini maker? An espresso machine? Any cool gadget from Williams Sonoma?
• Lotion: I agree with this. I have a lot of lotion in the cupboard, I don't need any more.
• Granny nighties: But I don't want any sexy stuff either. It's just not me.
• House cleaning gear, i.e. a vacuum: I bought my Darling Dyson myself. I would have accepted it as a gift!
• The Man Cold: I agree with this.

So here's a picture of what I did get. I asked for it for my birthday (next week) but it arrived early.

I'm serious. I totally wanted a new toilet for the hall bath. The original toilet was

• 45 years old
• a water hog
• wouldn't always shut off
• impossible to clean, after years of hard water and scrubbing with a pumice stone
  

So I got a toilet. It's lovely. Smooth and shiny as a pearl! And I'm not alone in wanting ordinary useful things. My mother-in-law wants some furniture assembled and leaky faucets repaired.

If I were to ask for something more "special" it would be dinner out, flowers, chocolate, a massage, etc. But the best Mother's Day gifts have always been the cute things my sons made in school:This faded beauty has sat above the computer for 8 years!

Swayin' with Bublé

Oh, be still my heart. Michael Bublé has entered the secret boyfriend list (he should have been there already), along with Robert Downey Jr. (but that's another story). Unlike Mrs. G, I will share.

The Beloved Niece and I had a LADIES NIGHT OUT! Leaving Frank and Ernest to watch McQueen and Mr. Thomas, we spent a lovely evening in the midst of screaming women. Young college women screaming behind us, older women screaming in front of us. I assure you, we're not screamers.

Some women could not behave themselves. When Michael came out in the audience to take a picture with an 11 year old girl, an older implanted woman pushed forward to hug him. Later that woman stood on a chair, trying to touch him. Towards the end, she jumped into the unwilling arms of a cameraman and was hauled off by security.

Another woman was lucky enough to get a hug, and grabbed his tushie and squeezed with both hands. He appeared to like it. Thank goodness for those big screen TVs so the rest of the audience is in on the action. No panties were thrown.

Oh.....he sang, too.

All right, Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close up.

You can see the AFM's cameo here, starting at about 8 minutes 06 seconds. They look at a...wait...I WON'T SPOIL IT!

The Earplug Issue

The Handy Husband handed me some earplugs last night at the concert. We were really close to the speakers, and my ears ring enough as it is. So I needed them. But in his hand was one purple, three orange, and some pocket lint.

Purple is my color. Did he have any more purple? Oh, yeah, a bunch. Hand into pocket again, pulls out more orange plugs and more pocket lint. May I say: I almost chose the pocket lint (blueish) as it would not clash so much against the purple. But the thought of fishing pocket lint out of my ear was disgusting, so I had to deal with one purple, one orange.

Now some members of my family would laugh at that. They wear socks of different colors on purpose. And that's their choice and I respect them for it. But I just wanted my earplugs to match. In purple. Is that too weird?

I like patterns. For example, I prefer to wash dishes in a certain order. You can't just hand me things and expect me to wash them randomly. I have a system. And it works. Everything fits in the dishrack that way. (Although I prefer the dishwasher!)

And correcting math papers at school? They must be organized first. Etc. Etc.

There's a little (or a lot) of O/C in all of us. I can be pretty sloppy in many ways, so you wouldn't suspect I am so controlling in others!

So what's your matchy-matchy issue? What has to be perfect? What has to follow your plan? You don't have to talk about laundry if you have already blogged about it!

Concert Season Begins!

Concert season begins! And the Handy Husband and I had a Date Night!, with Thai food and a John Fogerty concert. And no kids with us!

We had great "lawn" seats. Lawn? Maybe 30 years ago. Now it is an expanse of cement with folding chairs. It should be renamed "Floor" but that's not as picturesque, n'est ce-pas?

There was also an expanse of male pattern baldness in front of us. All ranges: from the quite elderly man who seemed so proud of it that he waxed the bald spot (I'm totally serious, it was gleaming), to the combover, to the sad gray ponytail scraggling below the MPB spot. Now the HH himself has MPB but he deals with it, i.e. sucks it up and cuts his hair short. I'm just suggesting a pony tail with a bald spot may not be the most fetching sight. Nor is the combover. The waxed head, on the other hand, was strangely attractive.

It was definitely an older crowd. But then Fogerty is 62, which is hard to believe. He blasted out one awesome tune after another, changing guitars for every song, for almost 2 hours. His two teenage sons (Shane, 17, and Tyler, 16) joined him for one song. Only one song? Wolfie Van Halen gets a whole show! We had a great time. A tiny little gray-haired lady in front of me was rocking out. She took picture after picture. (Security slip-up as cameras were forbidden.)

Next up, a Girl's Night Out with MichaelBubleMichaelBubleMichaelBubleMich---Slap! Get a hold of yourself, girl!

And John Mellencamp tickets go on sale Saturday!

In my ongoing series...

I love my small town, don't get me wrong. But there is a certain lack.....of useful shopping. Sure, I can get all the chocolate and pastries and knicknacks I want, but everyday things? Sheets, towels, large quantities of Slim Jims, Thai Food..... etc.

You know you live in a small town when...

• you want to look at new cell phones (and actually touch them, not just order them from the internet) and it says "Search within the following distance:" 5 Miles, 10 Miles, 20 Miles, 50 Miles. And you have to pick 50 Miles to find a store.
• there's no place to buy an xBox. With a footnote: Albertson's, of all places, sold some a few months ago, but they are out now.

Mission accomplished. We went "out of town" yesterday for the phones and Thai Food (and a concert, see the next post). And I ordered the xBox on Amazon. (I am grateful for online shopping!)

Another xBox, you ask? It's replacing Frank's dead one as Ernest is finally tired of sharing and Frank unexpectedly got a $300 check in the mail. Which I cashed myself, but then felt guilty about and assuaged said guilt by telling him it was OK to replace the dead one.

#200, A Tribute to my Birthday Boy

To celebrate both my 200th post and Ernest's recent 12th birthday, here are a few old photos of my "Angel Baby." Let's embarass the heck out of him. And I apologize for being too lazy to take apart the scrapbooks and scan the pictures properly. Besides, my scanner doesn't always work. So I just photographed the pages.

The Ernest Fan Club* may recognize a few of these.

He was usually a really good baby. Even when he was bad he was adorable.

He had a cute belly. (He liked to hold his belly button.)

And a cute butt.

He was a good helper for his dad.

He was very active and sometimes got scabby.

On a camping trip he discovered "dirty" dirt.

He loved his monkey and chocolate.

This is the only time I was an evil mother. He got stuck and I ran to get the camera and left him crying until I got a few pictures. I don't think I permanently damaged his feelings. He still seems to love me.

He even had his "15 minutes of fame." His picture was in the newspaper! *The fan club? Besides family and friends, there are a lot of people in our small town who knew Ernest as a small child. Our beloved niece took him on walks all over town, where he met many nice people like Pam and "Mrs. Pam" (his name for Pam's mother). They would say hello to him all the time, and I wouldn't know who they were. Membership is free, and is growing all the time.

Press Release! Publicity Stunt!

The company my husband works for makes microscopes. Atomic Force Microscopes. CSI: Miami is using one as a prop. So watch this show on May 5th and then DON'T ask me about it because I can't explain it.

And may I confess, I've never watched any of the CSI shows. (I wish this was the one with Gary Sinese, another secret boyfriend, as I'm so not into David Caruso.) And I don't have TIVO. However, I do have a DVD recorder so we'll record it on that, not the old obsolete VCR.

NEWS

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Type of release: Corporate News
Keywords: Atomic Force Microscopy (AFM), Scanning Probe Microscopy (SPM)
Asylum Research Atomic Force Microscope Featured in CSI: Miami Episode
May 1, 2008 (Santa Barbara, CA)

Aside from performing cutting edge research in nanotechnology, the Asylum Research MFP-3D AFM will be in the spotlight on the CBS hit television show CSI: Miami. The AFM will be featured in the episode 619 “Rock and a Hard Place” scheduled to air May 5, 2008.

“I was really surprised when CSI: Miami producers called me to use our MFP-3D AFM,” said Terry Mehr, Director of Marketing. “Only days earlier, I had received an email from our VP of Asia Pacific telling me about a customer that was interested in doing forensics on our AFM and how great it would be to have our AFM on CSI. Then lo and behold, I get a call from the producers asking to use the equipment. It’s exciting to have our AFM featured in the episode.”

While details of the CSI: Miami episode cannot be revealed, the MFP-3D AFM will be used as the forensic instrument of choice to procure information about a sample.

Asylum Research manufactures advanced AFMs for nanoscale science and technology. For additional information, please contact Terry Mehr, Director of Marketing, Asylum Research, 6310 Hollister Avenue, Santa Barbara, CA 93117, 805-696-6466, terry@AsylumResearch.com, www.AsylumResearch.com.

So thank you HH for alerting us to this major media event. And for giving me an actual press release, which in my smalltown life doesn't happen too often. And most importantly, for giving me my 199th blog post. So now I can post #200 which has been waiting in the wings a few days! I am so full of ulterior motives.

The Lost Hamsters

My Handy Husband had a bunch of hamsters before we met. I remember the stories of only two of them. (M-I-L may have more stories.)

• The One (Elizabeth?) who chewed on the refrigerator cord and electocuted herself...
• The One (Nathan?) who was squashed by his hip...

...And in my time there was a beautiful hamster abode with a loft and picture windows, handcrafted by the HH ...when he was the HB aka handy boyfriend, and its tenants were:

• The One (Sigmund) who crawled under the heater between the floors of an I.V. apartment and never came out, and...
• The One (Blossom) who paralyzed her back legs somersaulting off the hamster bedroom loft, and...
• The One (Max) who we though was dead but the HB massaged him back to life. For a while...

We got hamsters early in Frank's life...a mistake. There was

• The One (Fred) his friend squashed...
• The One (Jack) who lost 3 teeth and the last tooth grew so long he couldn't eat...

Then we saw THE ONE, the most beautiful hamster in all the universe.

Tina.

Featured on Cute Overload and Flickr.

This started the hamster longing all over again. Ernest thinks we need to get the HH a hamster. for Father's Day. I'm just not sure. I feel we would be setting ourselves up for yet another tragic ending. But on the other hand, Ernest would love and adore a little pet.

Finish Before You Begin

I'm notorious in my home for wanting to know how things end. Before I finish them.

Books? I love to read the ending ahead of time. So I know where I'm going to. This drives Ernest crazy. He made me promise not to skip ahead to the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Because I love him, I kept my word. It was a struggle but I read it really fast so I only had to suffer for a little while. And I'm not posting any links to the ending because HE STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE BOOK. AND HE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO GET IT IN OUR TOWN! Can you tell that irritates me just a little bit?

Movies? Ditto. Here's where the Movie Spoiler website comes in handy.

The Point? My Handy Husband is a drag racing fan. Today's race is in Atlanta. It's tape-delayed. So during a commercial break, he checks out the NHRA website to find out that Ashley Force beat John Force in the funny car finals. So now he can kick back and relax. (Hope I haven't spoiled it for anyone else but I sense my regular readers are probably not watching drag racing right now. And by tomorrow it will be old news.)

I'm not alone! I'm so happy. I feel justified!

When Dreams Come Alive

I have issues with being woken up at night. Usually it is by snoring, cat purring, cat sitting on my feet, raccoon invasions, windchimes, rocket launches etc.

Sunday night I was dreaming that I was working in some nebulous office space (I believe you have my stapler!) and there was an alarm going off. I gradually realized I had woken up but was still hearing the noise. At 5:30 in the morning! I don't know what it was. Car horn? Alarm? Siren? I checked outside and it seemed to be coming from the north end of the street. The HH and I burrowed our heads under the covers but could still hear it. Finally, after the longest 15-20 minutes, it stopped.

I am happy to say there was no school Monday so I was able to sleep late to compensate.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I have a cold sore. It's ugly. I know it. What can I do? (Remedies are hereby solicited.)

So at lunch today this adorable kindergartener (A boy of course. I adore little boys. In a totally acceptable mom-like way.) asked me what was wrong with my lip and I explained.

And then he asked me, "Did you get it from blowing your whistle so much?" I laughed so hard, and then I had to tell the other aides. It's true, I do blow the whistle a lot because the kids are so loud and don't listen and my voice isn't very loud. Although, I can now belt out the word "WALK" at a pretty good volume.

6 ingredients

Yahoo had an article on natural cleaners. Which you can read here. But when I read it, my mind went elsewhere: Borax? I've only used it for one reason and it wasn't cleaning. (See #2). So here are my smalltown mom tips about these ingredients:

1. Baking soda: (see #5)

2. Borax: You can make a really great slime by mixing it with gel school glue.

3. Lemon: I don't have any kids' projects so here's something for the grownups. Oh, wait. Here's a lemon battery so they can shock themselves. Just kidding!

4. Salt: play-doh

5. White vinegar: mix with #1 and red food coloring to make volcanic lava! We've gone through so many gallons of vinegar with my boys! Or rockets. Alka-Seltzer rockets are fun too. Ernest has done an experiment on Alka-Seltzer rocket variations.

6. Olive Oil: I don't have anything for this, but it would probably get stuck stickers off of things. Are your kids sticker crazy? Peanut butter works great for that too, because it is thick and stays on long enough for the oil to permeate the sticker and release the adhesive. The drawback is it leaves a pungent aroma and then you are craving jelly for days.