No, This is the Precious

No, Ernest would actually call THIS his precious...

The Precious?

That's what I call it. I don't know what Ernest calls it.


It sounds as good as it looks. He's practicing more. Is that because a) he likes playing the new one more or b) the music is more difficult?


After we heard the group play, we realized the answer is (b.


They sounded great. But what's with all the plaid?

Christmas Catalogs

This is the scariest Christmas catalog cover I've ever seen.

SANTA HAS PLUMBER BUTT!

Long Weekend

Ah, I am happily anticipating my 4-day weekend. What a treat!

I think I know what I'll be doing...look what showed up at the library for me! Why do so many holds come in at the same time?

What should I read first?

Preparationz

Life is more interesting when you laugh.

Driving home yesterday we had a hilarious discussion on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Have we been watching too many horror movies?

The Handy Husband started it...as we drove out of the neighborhood, he said, "Look, zombie-proof walls! We'll have to come here in case of a zombie attack." Ernest had already formulated an elaborate plan to get weapons at Wal-Mart, and then hole up in Costco (for the food).

But I think if we stayed home we'd have pretty good zombie defenses:

Ernest can sharpen his ninja sword.

Frank would prefer the fireplace poker. He's also got my childhood baseball bat tucked away in a corner of his apartment. And there's a wooden washboard up there -- you could seriously down some zombies with that.

Handy's got a plethora of zombie-smashing implements in our garage. Just imagine.

All I could think of was my rolling pin but that would put me at pretty close range. Maybe I could whack them with my Mary Poppins umbrella instead?

But please don't worry about me. I've got the moves already -- I own this t-shirt!



Zombie preparedness. It's a good thing.

The Fifth of November

Frank had a new look today.



Me: You look like the mask in V for Vendetta.


Frank: That was my intent. That's Guy Fawkes.


Me: Is this because it's Guy Fawkes Day today?
Frank: Really? I had no idea.

He just wanted to do something different with the beard. He should have done this for Halloween -- we've got a collar like that somewhere in the costume closet.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder treason and plot.
We see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

Guy Fawkes, guy, t'was his intent
To blow up king and parliament.
Three score barrels were laid below
To prove old England's overthrow.

By god's mercy he was catch'd
With a darkened lantern and burning match.
So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the bells ring.
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king.

And what shall we do with him?
Burn him!

http://www.bonfirenight.net/index.php

Happy Novembeard. Or is it Beardvember?

Coming to an End

I'm so glad it's election day because that means there is an end to the overload of political crap advertising:

• the TV commercials
• the signs - I confess, I have my first sign ever in my yard because my niece is running for school board
• the junk mail - some days that's all I get
• the phone calls - Oh, Leonardo diCaprio, why were you just a recording?
• the door-to-doors - Our current mayor gave us chocolate; his opponent did not. Do you think that swung my vote?

Don't forget to vote!

Refrigerator Cat

Our arthritic old cat loves to find a warm place to sit. On sunny days you can usually find her curled in a chair outside, or perched on Frank's steps. When we had the rainy spell last week, she found a new place to lie. Right in front of the refrigerator vent, which blows out a nice little stream of warm air. This made making breakfast difficult. Excuse me kitty, I need the milk. Excuse me kitty, I need the lunch meat. Excuse me kitty, I need the waffles.



She's pretty good at finding other equally inconvenient places to sleep, like on Ernest's gym bag during the morning frenzy.



I also think she has kitty alzheimers. She meows like crazy for food, we feed her, and 15 minutes later it's like she's forgotten and she's meowing again.


see more Funny Graphs

The Daily Drive, Halloween Edition

Just past the park, we pass this supposedly haunted house.

Supposedly...at least on YouTube. I've lived here forever and while the house has been ramshackle and more recently deserted, I've never heard it was haunted.

Here it is. I warn you, don't watch it! You'll be sorry.

(...It's boring.)



I dunno. I didn't see anything. Did you?

Here's the sequel.



I STILL didn't see anything. I could take some shaky videos of my own house and make it even more scary. I've got the cobwebs!

I've asked the opinion of a high school classmate who lived on the same road. I'll let you know if she has any vital information, otherwise I think this is a total bust.

But it's still fun to drive by.

And the Cake Crown goes to...

Or should I title this "Abdicaketion?"

I hereby remove my Mad Cake Skillz crown and hand it down to Frank. He has made the best CAKE EVERRRR! (Although he did let me help with the frosting.)



And look at these perfectly swirled little chocolate poo-poo candleholders...



Here's the cake's real life Doppelgänger.


Mr. Thomas helped with the candles, and ate a candleholder. He called it a swirly. I don't think he really understood what it represented!


The bar has been raised pretty high for the next family birthday cake -- the Handy Husband's in December.

There's A New Cake In Town

Frank has decided to take up cake decorating along with his other delicious dessert specialties. Think he got the idea from me?

His paternal Handy Grandpa's birthday is coming up this weekend and Frank volunteered to make a cake. One hint: it's more ambitious than the Rubik's Cube. Any guesses what this cake will look like? I think a few relatives might guess this.

If it turns out, we'll have pictures on Sunday.

Boo! Boo-Hoo! Boo-yah!

BOO

It's that time of the year again. Ernest will soon be making his annual 3-night trek to Boo at the Zoo. And like previous years, there are other older kids looking for rides. And I wonder once again...why don't their parents drive??? And why do I say yes all the time? I wouldn't say no to Ernest, but it really stresses me out to have to drive other kids and I should just say no to that. Maybe next year.

BOO HOO

So I have to take the truck, because it holds the most people. (We are not a van family.) But I don't like the truck; I prefer my small car because it is comfy to WAIT in for hours and it plays DVDs. But because we've got 3 extra persons wanting a ride, the big old truck it is.

Did I mention that after I drove the Boo carpool last year I decided Ernest should apply to a private high school? Those backseat conversations give me lots of information. What, they think I don't listen? What will I learn this year?

BOO YAH

On the upside, I have a date night night with my husband after I drop off the boo crew on Friday. We are looking forward to meeting for a steak dinner and a movie.

I Take it Back

My cold is not gone, after all. It's turned into the long cold that a bunch of second graders have. Now I know where I got it. Three were out last week, three this week. Plus another girl out for a funeral, and a boy for a hernia operation.

The poor little girl, she was crying on the playground the other day and told me, "they're going to put my aunt's ashes in the ground tomorrow." So I just hugged her. What can you say? I asked her if she had a happy time with her aunt she could remember. She loved the smell of her aunt's cookies.

So between that and the miners' rescue and the sneezes, I have been pretty drippy this week.

How has your week been?

Catching Up

The only good thing about having a cold on my three-day weekend is getting caught up with almost the whole last season of Desperate Housewives. Too bad the cold is over now and I won't have time for Glee or True Blood.

Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers

Is there anything Steve Martin CAN'T do? Comedian, actor, author, songwriter, banjo picker? Next thing you know he'll be on Iron Chef or Dancing with the Stars.



And he was still funny, too.



The Steep Canyon Rangers are amazing, too.

It's a Conspiracy, I Tell You

About those children I mentioned the other day...

Last week I was the victim of a conspiracy by two third grade boys. They plotted to have their mothers get me fired because they don't like the recess soccer schedule. They bragged about this to the girls, who told me.

We only have one field, so everyone can't play soccer every day. They have to take turns. They think this is unfair. Because their idea of fair is to let them play MORE soccer than anyone else. They want to take over the girls' soccer time.

One of the conspirators had his mom come to school last Friday. She talked to another aide, and his little ploy backfired when she found out he was fibbing about the schedule.

Interestingly, I had busted the schemers the day before, Thursday morning, for bad hula hoop behavior -- hitting each other with the hoops, tug of war with them, and throwing a hoop clear over the top of the handball courts.

(I want to thank all the teachers who GOT MY BACK! Whoo-hoo teachers, I love you all!!! It's been very quiet this week!)

But I feel like being as childish as they are...so what I have to say to those boys is...

Ha ha!



I'm still standing (on the playground).



(Here's the silly video with Bruno from DWTS)

When the First Rain Comes

After our heat wave (I heard it was up to 116), we got some coolness and some RAIN. I heard the lovely pitter patter briefly on the roof last night. In thankfulness, here are my favorite rain songs.

when the rain comes



bus stop




Kathy's Song (i hear the drizzle of the rain), Eva Cassidy's version.



a hard rains gonna fall -- not live, but it's the song...purely...



evil children have been raining on my parade recently, so I will leave you with the muse of my teen years...Barbra in 1975..

Yellow

I found this paint color quiz via How About Orange.

Your color personality is: Yellow

Like yellow's strongest symbol, the sun, you radiate warmth. Others love to be around you because you have a gift for always looking on the bright side, and your ready smile can be infectious. Chances are your calendar is packed -- yellow lovers tend to be always on the go!Your signature color indicates someone imaginative and creative, so don't be afraid to express yourself through the way you dress and the way you decorate your home. Cheerful yellow is the ideal hue for a kitchen, laundry room, or any room that needs some extra brightness.

Although the blurb fits, I don't really like yellow paint. I have enough yellow in my life.

Well, what color do you get and how does it fit with you?

Hydrate

Yes, drink your water.

Ernest was laid low during cross country practice yesterday...not enough fluids! It was still hot, but fortunately not our worst day.

As I waited to pick him up, I saw him walking wobbily towards the parking lot without really seeing me. He went on to get his clothes from the gym and his coach introduced herself. I guess he'd severely faded during the run. But they were right next to her house so she made him lie down and drink gatorade. When I picked him up she said he was quite a lot better. She said, make him rest and not do homework, "even though he'll want to". How cool a teacher is that! I put him to bed with some advil and more gatorade. But after he got up and ate dinner, he did the home work anyway.

That's so Ernest.

Under Pressure

My tires have had their own issues this week. Is it the heat?

In my case of the Mondays, I mentioned the rear passenger tire was low. HH filled it using his trusty air compressor. Tuesday, after driving over 100 miles, the front passenger tire decided to be low. Again, he filled it.

This morning, the front passenger tire was low again. Handy Husband being gone on another business trip, I went to a gas station. Two of them charged for air, so no thanks. The third had air, but it barely came out. I got enough in the tire to make the light go out, but it's still low. I think I'll have dinner first, before I drag out the compressor. Or maybe someone will come home in time...

Under pressure...