Marching to His Own Beat...or razor

It may be No Shave November or Novembeard or Beardvember or Movember for some, but not for Frank. He marches to his own beat. And so, he decided to shave.


And then he slightly regretted it because his face was cold. I think the beard will be regrown before the end of the month. If not the Guy Fawkes look, probably a Van Dyke.

And I remembered a book that his Bearded Handy Grandpa (my dad) sent to Frank many years ago...



I hope Frank's beard runs home soon. I miss it.

Hats

When I picked Ernest up at school Friday afternoon, he was wearing this:

(He declined to pose for the picture so the cat was conscripted.)

He wasn't the only student wearing a foil hat. Were they afraid of aliens reading their thoughts?

No, but if they wore one they got free ice cream.

I guess they'll do anything for free ice cream.

What is your Quest?

It's only his first day of vacation and already Ernest is bored. He doesn't like any of the fun quests I have suggested for him:

• take all his shoes upstairs
• bring down his sheets to wash
• pick up the trash and dishes in his room

What's wrong with those? He's just going to have to think of something on his own.

Meanwhile, my quest for the day was to find out what was making that stinking smell in the refrigerator. It wasn't any kind of leftovers. I'm really good about cleaning them out, after all my childhood traumas of mistakenly opening my aunt's stinky cheese containers. I pulled out everything, including the shelves, and found some suspicious pink dribbles along the shelf tracks. Aha! Stinky meat juice. I have washed the entire interior and it is clean, organized and ready to be stuffed full of Thanksgiving goodies.

But then my nose was overly sensitive, and I could smell the garbage, so I also cleaned out the cabinet under the sink. I see in the picture I forgot the toe kick so it's back on hands and knees for me.


WHAT... is your quest?
And more trivially, WHAT... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Revisiting the Deathly Hallows

With Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows opening at midnight,
I thought I'd revisit another midnight.

The book release party at midnight, July 21, 2007.
Ernest was the first person in our small town to get his copy.
He won the book and the first-in-line privilege at a school auction.
That beautiful young woman between us?
She's a dearest friend's daughter.
She bought her first Harry Potter book at that store.
She had to return for the last one.

Priceless.

The Daily Drive: Close Call

I learned something on the dark drive home from Hogwarts Tuesday night.

A deer running across the road does not prance like this.



It is simply a silvery brown blur in the headlights.

I didn't even see it coming. If Ernest hadn't seen the first deer run across the road and called out "DEER," I would have hit the second deer for sure. With his warning, I slowed and the deer flashed by me about 5 feet in front of the car.

Funny thing, it was just around the bend from the haunted house...

No, This is the Precious

No, Ernest would actually call THIS his precious...

The Precious?

That's what I call it. I don't know what Ernest calls it.


It sounds as good as it looks. He's practicing more. Is that because a) he likes playing the new one more or b) the music is more difficult?


After we heard the group play, we realized the answer is (b.


They sounded great. But what's with all the plaid?

Christmas Catalogs

This is the scariest Christmas catalog cover I've ever seen.

SANTA HAS PLUMBER BUTT!

Long Weekend

Ah, I am happily anticipating my 4-day weekend. What a treat!

I think I know what I'll be doing...look what showed up at the library for me! Why do so many holds come in at the same time?

What should I read first?

Preparationz

Life is more interesting when you laugh.

Driving home yesterday we had a hilarious discussion on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Have we been watching too many horror movies?

The Handy Husband started it...as we drove out of the neighborhood, he said, "Look, zombie-proof walls! We'll have to come here in case of a zombie attack." Ernest had already formulated an elaborate plan to get weapons at Wal-Mart, and then hole up in Costco (for the food).

But I think if we stayed home we'd have pretty good zombie defenses:

Ernest can sharpen his ninja sword.

Frank would prefer the fireplace poker. He's also got my childhood baseball bat tucked away in a corner of his apartment. And there's a wooden washboard up there -- you could seriously down some zombies with that.

Handy's got a plethora of zombie-smashing implements in our garage. Just imagine.

All I could think of was my rolling pin but that would put me at pretty close range. Maybe I could whack them with my Mary Poppins umbrella instead?

But please don't worry about me. I've got the moves already -- I own this t-shirt!



Zombie preparedness. It's a good thing.

The Fifth of November

Frank had a new look today.



Me: You look like the mask in V for Vendetta.


Frank: That was my intent. That's Guy Fawkes.


Me: Is this because it's Guy Fawkes Day today?
Frank: Really? I had no idea.

He just wanted to do something different with the beard. He should have done this for Halloween -- we've got a collar like that somewhere in the costume closet.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder treason and plot.
We see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

Guy Fawkes, guy, t'was his intent
To blow up king and parliament.
Three score barrels were laid below
To prove old England's overthrow.

By god's mercy he was catch'd
With a darkened lantern and burning match.
So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the bells ring.
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king.

And what shall we do with him?
Burn him!

http://www.bonfirenight.net/index.php

Happy Novembeard. Or is it Beardvember?

Coming to an End

I'm so glad it's election day because that means there is an end to the overload of political crap advertising:

• the TV commercials
• the signs - I confess, I have my first sign ever in my yard because my niece is running for school board
• the junk mail - some days that's all I get
• the phone calls - Oh, Leonardo diCaprio, why were you just a recording?
• the door-to-doors - Our current mayor gave us chocolate; his opponent did not. Do you think that swung my vote?

Don't forget to vote!

Refrigerator Cat

Our arthritic old cat loves to find a warm place to sit. On sunny days you can usually find her curled in a chair outside, or perched on Frank's steps. When we had the rainy spell last week, she found a new place to lie. Right in front of the refrigerator vent, which blows out a nice little stream of warm air. This made making breakfast difficult. Excuse me kitty, I need the milk. Excuse me kitty, I need the lunch meat. Excuse me kitty, I need the waffles.



She's pretty good at finding other equally inconvenient places to sleep, like on Ernest's gym bag during the morning frenzy.



I also think she has kitty alzheimers. She meows like crazy for food, we feed her, and 15 minutes later it's like she's forgotten and she's meowing again.


see more Funny Graphs

The Daily Drive, Halloween Edition

Just past the park, we pass this supposedly haunted house.

Supposedly...at least on YouTube. I've lived here forever and while the house has been ramshackle and more recently deserted, I've never heard it was haunted.

Here it is. I warn you, don't watch it! You'll be sorry.

(...It's boring.)



I dunno. I didn't see anything. Did you?

Here's the sequel.



I STILL didn't see anything. I could take some shaky videos of my own house and make it even more scary. I've got the cobwebs!

I've asked the opinion of a high school classmate who lived on the same road. I'll let you know if she has any vital information, otherwise I think this is a total bust.

But it's still fun to drive by.

And the Cake Crown goes to...

Or should I title this "Abdicaketion?"

I hereby remove my Mad Cake Skillz crown and hand it down to Frank. He has made the best CAKE EVERRRR! (Although he did let me help with the frosting.)



And look at these perfectly swirled little chocolate poo-poo candleholders...



Here's the cake's real life Doppelgänger.


Mr. Thomas helped with the candles, and ate a candleholder. He called it a swirly. I don't think he really understood what it represented!


The bar has been raised pretty high for the next family birthday cake -- the Handy Husband's in December.

There's A New Cake In Town

Frank has decided to take up cake decorating along with his other delicious dessert specialties. Think he got the idea from me?

His paternal Handy Grandpa's birthday is coming up this weekend and Frank volunteered to make a cake. One hint: it's more ambitious than the Rubik's Cube. Any guesses what this cake will look like? I think a few relatives might guess this.

If it turns out, we'll have pictures on Sunday.

Boo! Boo-Hoo! Boo-yah!

BOO

It's that time of the year again. Ernest will soon be making his annual 3-night trek to Boo at the Zoo. And like previous years, there are other older kids looking for rides. And I wonder once again...why don't their parents drive??? And why do I say yes all the time? I wouldn't say no to Ernest, but it really stresses me out to have to drive other kids and I should just say no to that. Maybe next year.

BOO HOO

So I have to take the truck, because it holds the most people. (We are not a van family.) But I don't like the truck; I prefer my small car because it is comfy to WAIT in for hours and it plays DVDs. But because we've got 3 extra persons wanting a ride, the big old truck it is.

Did I mention that after I drove the Boo carpool last year I decided Ernest should apply to a private high school? Those backseat conversations give me lots of information. What, they think I don't listen? What will I learn this year?

BOO YAH

On the upside, I have a date night night with my husband after I drop off the boo crew on Friday. We are looking forward to meeting for a steak dinner and a movie.

I Take it Back

My cold is not gone, after all. It's turned into the long cold that a bunch of second graders have. Now I know where I got it. Three were out last week, three this week. Plus another girl out for a funeral, and a boy for a hernia operation.

The poor little girl, she was crying on the playground the other day and told me, "they're going to put my aunt's ashes in the ground tomorrow." So I just hugged her. What can you say? I asked her if she had a happy time with her aunt she could remember. She loved the smell of her aunt's cookies.

So between that and the miners' rescue and the sneezes, I have been pretty drippy this week.

How has your week been?

Catching Up

The only good thing about having a cold on my three-day weekend is getting caught up with almost the whole last season of Desperate Housewives. Too bad the cold is over now and I won't have time for Glee or True Blood.

Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers

Is there anything Steve Martin CAN'T do? Comedian, actor, author, songwriter, banjo picker? Next thing you know he'll be on Iron Chef or Dancing with the Stars.



And he was still funny, too.



The Steep Canyon Rangers are amazing, too.