$hoe $hopping

Not for me, this time. I often buy cute $15 shoes at Tar-zhay and never wear them, because I usually wander around in the same cruddy Whatchacallits. When I was a kid, they were called "tennis shoes" or "sneakers." What the heck do you call them now?

Ernest is joining the middle school tennis team and has outgrown his old shoes. His feet are literally bursting out, i.e his toes are jammed against the end of the real "tennis shoes" and there is a hole in the toe of the "sneakers."

There are three stores that sell guys shoes in our small area.... Not in any particular order:

1) a skateboard shop: Great for daily wear, even the HH buys shoes there. But that's all they have. Skateboard Shoes -- large, pudgy, bulgy-tongued things with totally flat soles. (And I challenge you to spell tongue right on the first try!)

No complaints about this store, they just don't carry other types of shoes.

2) The tourist store with the big wooden shoe out front has nice European shoes, but their customer service is SO BAD that I will not shop there unless I am desperate. Ernest may need a new pair of Converse High-Tops this summer... and I may need my replacement LaPlume leopard slides. But I think we will replace these shoes VIA THE INTERNET this year.

Buying children's shoes there was always been an ordeal. And still, I kept on going back, because it was the only store in town.

First, it would take forever for someone to even consent to look at us, let alone say, may I help you.

Then, there was the size ordeal. What size do you want? I don't know, since they are children, their feet have grown. Could you please measure them? They would never ever offer to measure their feet. Many times I would have to do it myself.

Finally, when we would chose a shoe: No, we're out of that size. Hou about this one? Nope. Again and again. Finally, I would say, well, what DO you have in his size? Bearing in mind the children's selection was on a 3'x5' shelf. Not too big a selection. And there would be maybe one pair in the right size.

3) A family-owned store which was previously located in an even smaller town 3 miles away. Now they are near my grocery store. They have mostly athletics-specific shoes. Ernest found a pair of real tennis shoes and the owner was so careful in measuring Ernest's feet: right foot, size NINE, left foot, size TEN!!!! Yes, a whole size different. We never knew. Because no other shoe store measured him so carefully.

$o we bought the expen$ive real tenni$ $hoes at store #3. Because of their excellent service.

But he still needed some everyday shoes. And then Mr. Low Maintenance Frank admitted he needed shoes. It turns out he has only one pair, and there are big enough holes in the soles and inside that I could stick my finger all the way through. No wonder his feet were getting wet. (There could be a second pair somewhere in the black hole of his room, but they'll never see the light of day again.)

Since we were headed to a bigger town to see a movie, we went to a Footlocker there. At least we knew what size Ernest wore! They both found shoes. And we learned that Ernest's feet are now bigger than Frank's.

And that's how I spent $224 on $shoes $aturday.