Ouch

1) when kitten needs his claws trimmed

2) and jumps on your back

X) when said kitten knocks the fruit bowl off the counter and it breaks...the bowl made by husband in high school  

Y) When you put the fruit in the fridge so it won't roll off the counter because you don't have a fruit bowl any more but people don't remember they just bought fruit and can't see what's in front of them when they open the refrigerator door so they write fruit on the grocery list.

#) When the cat (Homer) lying next to you starts to snore (and you are sleeping in the guest room to avoid snoring) 

*) and then said cat wakes up and starts licking and grunting at 2:38 am. 

3) when the pain that is migrating around your head makes your ear hurt every time you swallow. 

Z) Now the ear is stabbing continuously. 2:48 am. 

4) to distract you from your ear you read about poisonous water in Flint MI and celebrity yoga pants fails. 3:15 am. 

&) And now the cat is purring 3:16

But the aspirin has kicked in. 3:29 am.