Visitor

We were watching The Possession last night.  There is a scene early on where they find a mess in the kitchen.  The dad blames it on a raccoon and screws the dog door shut.

Less than a half hour later, look what meandered past our back door.

Twice as big as Homer! Homer darling, this is why we lock you in at night.

In Which I Gracefully Avoid Humiliation

I was happily Zumba-ing the other day when I felt a pressure on my lower back.  Silly me, I thought it was a sore spot from lying on an itty bitty ball during remedial relaxation yoga the day before.  (Look at me, talking like I'm an active person.  Ha!)

During a break between songs I put my hand on the spot and there was a lump.  Surreptitiously, I eased my hand down inside the back of my pants and found a wad of paper.  Egad!  You know what kind of paper.  Thank my lucky stars it was dry!  And not hanging out like in my cartoon.

There was no one behind me so I palmed it, then gracefully turned to the cubbyholes while keeping my hand out of view, stuffed it in my purse, and took a drink of water to cover myself.

So tell me, have you saved yourselves from embarrassment lately?

Comparing Children to Cats

Unless you have a cat-cam, you never know what mischief your cat gets into when he goes outside. My husband's been quoting to me from this very interesting article.

Of course Homer fits the house cat profile of sleeping or sitting 80% of the time.  We have occasionally seen him in the neighbor's front yard but I don't think he ranges farther from his food dish than that.  This may be the most exciting of his activities, prowling around the bird bath.

The free-range child, on the other hand...  Once again, all I can say is thank goodness for Facebook.  That's him, one of those guys on top of that rock.

Out of the Closet

No, I'm not talking about celebrities discussing their sex lives.

I somehow got myself into the recesses of the closets of my house.  I hate cleaning and reorganizing.  But I needed to cram some boxes into the back of Ernest's closet.  He has the room with the biggest closets.  It's part of the deal that I get to store stuff in them.  I made a partial attempt to triage the closet two years ago, when Francine was a terrified newcomer and decided to hide in there.

Now "my side" of the closet looks much better, with room for luggage, tents and ice chests.  There are still several empty lego boxes and a basket of Power Ranger toys.  What to do with those?  I think they belong in "Ernest's side."  But I'm afraid to go there.  I think I've done enough for now.

Time Warp Tuesday: The Dolls

Thank you Jenn, for organizing Time Warp Tuesday.

I'm doing something a little different this Time Warp Tuesday.  Instead of talking about another picture, I thought I'd introduce you to the dolls from the last time warp (before Christmas).

May I present, wearing those same summer dresses, Janie Walker, Dewy C. Dobbs, and Bad Ady (pronounced A-dee with a long A, not Addie).

Since it's January and it was 27 degrees this morning, they are quite annoyed that I made them pose in those summer dresses.  They are very chilly so they are going to change into their winter flannel nighties.  Ahhh, that's better.

Dewy is the oldest of the crew.  She is a business tycoon who drives a black cadillac.  She has a fantastic wardrobe and is rumored to own a purple brassiere.   She was my constant companion, so her hair was loved off quite early in life.  This is her second wig.

Janie Walker was the doll in the big white box.  She lived in Minnesota for a few years and then came home with me on Western Airlines.  That was back in the days when children flew for half price.  Janie was able to come home in style, seat-belted into an extra seat for free instead of being unceremoniously stuffed into the overhead compartment.  She also has a good wardrobe, as she fit into some of my hand-me-downs.  She still has her own hair but could use some Latisse.

Bad Ady, now she really was a mischievous piece of work.  She also lived on the Minnesota farm for a while and would send me letters describing her devious deeds, like dangling the Baby Georgie doll out the window by one leg.  (My aunt had a brother named George.  Do you think she might have been projecting a little bit???)  Ady moved to California after a while and continued her wild and crazy ways.  She also wrote quite a bit of poetry. She spends most of her life in the red flannel robe and pointy hat, which matches the devilish side of her personality.   She says the wig is itchy so she only wears it on special occasions.

I will share a few of the letters and poems on future time warps, so come on back! 

Pink Saturday and Saturday PhotoHunt: Celebrate

This bottle's been waiting in my fridge for a reason to celebrate. Maybe I should just celebrate that it's Saturday!

Make it a Pink Saturday!

I am celebrating my son's successful Lasik surgery yesterday!  No more glasses for Frank!

What are you celebrating this weekend?

Handiness Abounds Around Here

While the Handy Husband did not have any major projects while he was home on vacation, he found plans for something interesting on the internet.

Once he acquired the necessary and highly technical parts (2 red Solo cups and a paper towel tube), he proceeded to make...

An iPhone speaker system.

It works, sort of.  Strategic use of dryer lint inside the paper towel tube improved it somewhat.

He brought in enough dryer lint for my crafty project, fireplace starters.

Put the lint into an empty cardboard egg carton.  Melt some candle stubs in a metal can set in a pot of water -- I bent the lip of the can into a spout which shows I am Handy too!

Carefully pour melted wax into egg carton cups.  Let harden, then cut apart.  Voila, fireplace starters.

We haven't had a fire since I made them, so I cannot vouch for how well they work.

Shark Cat

Gary is not the only one with a kitten shark or shark-cat.

(I already shared the second picture last year but he looks especially shark-like so you'll have to bear with me again.)



You will note Homer has two different collars.  He lost the zebra stripe collar.  He was banished inside until we replaced it with the pirate collar.  When he went out in the new collar, the magnet picked up the old collar!  Thanks for bringing it home, buddy!

Shaming

There has been a lot of shaming going around. I swore I wasn't going to take part, but now even friends are doing it to their cats...

If I were to do the cat shaming, you'd think Homer would be the culprit, wouldn't you? With his messy litterbox habits, his voracious appetite, his shedding of fluffy white fur.  Oh I just can't expose my darling to the ridicule.

The perfect Francine on the other hand, did a spectacular boo-boo on Monday. I don't have a picture of her with a note, but here is the actual issue:

How can such a lightweight cat knock over the litterbox?

And now having shamed the perfect cat, I shall shame the perfect child, again with the actual object of the shame rather than a note:

Ernest's unwashed laundry.

It's bigger than it looks in the basket.  I think it's going to be at least 5 loads, maybe 6 as the cycling garments must be washed separately in cold water and gentle cycle.  Ernest promised he would do laundry during vacation.  Just as he promised he would finish cleaning his room and a variety of other things that haven't been done.  He did wash and wax his car, which made his father happy.  Making the mother happy is a much lower priority, it seems.

The mother's going to do the laundry now.

What's shameful in your household?

Thematic Photographic: On the Water

My favorite "on the water" pictures are from our trip to Tahoe a few years ago.

Carmi at Written, Inc. hosts Thematic Photographic.  Check out more on the water here.  

The Horror

After I washed dishes, I rinsed out the suds. You know I have issues with suds left in the sink. But there was something there in the drain. As the suds dissipated it poked out. A finger? A penis?

It was a chicken heart.

http://matthewdunnart.deviantart.com/art/BEWARE-THE-ZOMBIE-CHICKEN-164896356

Gone baby gone

My tree was down by the 3rd and that was the earliest I've ever had to undecorate. I was not a happy camper about it. But the husband was antsy to get the tree out before the city's tree burn.

He decided to be helpful and took it upon himself to take apart my beautiful little recession tree. Aaargh! He pays little attention to things I do and says he did not realize I've stored it intact every year.

Knowing how obsessive and compulsive I am about organizing and packing my Christmas decorations, why would he even think it would be all right? I do not ever mess with any of his garage projects, not like he's done anything recently.

Well he offered to put it back together but it wouldn't be the same. It's ruined for me.

Crappy New Year. I'm going to go sulk for a while. And then I'm going to buy something on etsy to make me feel better. Retail therapy. I need some (many) vintage pink glass ornaments, because I have something big and sparkly planned for next year.

Thematic Photographic: Faves of the Year

For Thematic Photographic:  Faves of the Year, I picked a baker's dozen of my favorite photos, one per month.  Obviously, I did not take the one of Ernest in India but the rest are my own photos.

My New Year's Gift to You

I like to go against the tide, struggle upstream, and take the lesser trodden path. So, no best of or retrospective lists for me. Disclaimer: I reserve the right to make a list later.

But for now, my New Year's gift is the debunking.

• 40 squares. You're welcome.
• That math thing I'm not even going to attempt. Just remember PEMDAS. Parentheses Exponents Multiplication Division Addition Subtraction.
• Clicking like and commenting with a number will not give you a magic picture.
• That hovering over your name thing will only stop your friends from seeing you.
• Morgan Freeman is not dead. Nor did he write about the school shooting.
• The world will not end on 12-21. Oh, yeah. You probably figured that out too!!!

Please! Debunk as you wish in the comments. Happy New Debunk Year!

Holiday Cooking

I cooked up a veritable storm this holiday season. Flour was flying, roasts were ribbing, and so on. But wouldn't you know, I didn't get pictures of any of it. The only pictures I have are of the things I didn't make.

My husband's pretty Christmas dinner salad--

And a Trader Joe's cheesecake, but I did make the blackberry sauce--

Back to the prime rib.  If you're going to invest in such a luscious succulent piece of meat, cook it right.  Low and slow.  Here are some simple instructions, and a more detailed explanation of why it works.  This is my cooking advice:  Do not listen to your husband who thinks you should turn up the temperature.  Especially when his idea of cooking is to char the hell out of things.  Works great on the BBQ but doesn't necessarily translate elsewhere.  Stick to your guns and you will have the most perfect prime rib this side of an expensive restaurant.  Trust me.

Thematic Photographic: Warmth

Carmi, at Written Inc., hosts Thematic Photographic. Last week's theme was warmth.

I love the warmth of my stained glass candles as the afternoon sun strikes the window.

Aw shucks

My spammers are still being so flattering.

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Saturday PhotoHunt: Kindness

The Saturday PhotoHunt theme is Kindness.

Homer and Francine showing kindness to each other, sharing the same small patch of sunlight.