Concert Season

Concert Season is gearing up again...

1. We just got tickets for a repeat of Rush. Before last summer, I was "not that into" Rush, but the HH recommended we go. We saw them at the Hollywood Bowl last summer. Totally awesome. Neal Peart had the hugest drum set, ever. FYI, The Rock Band game features "Tom Sawyer."


2. Michael Buble (I don't know how to make the accent mark) , Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, oh excuse me did I repeat myself, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, will be playing for 2 nights only 45 miles away from me. My niece and I WILL be going. Husbands are staying at home. Tickets go on sale Friday. But the HH has to buy them for me because I can't get on the internet at 10 a.m. Isn't he a kind loving husband? To buy Michael Buble tickets for his lovely wife and niece? We think so. Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble.

I feel so young...

You Act Like You Are 25 Years Old

You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

What Age Do You Act?

Is this because I like the White Stripes?

In the Navy... NOT!!

A couple weeks ago Frank had a phone message from a lying bastard local naval recruiter. (OK, you can see where this is headed.)

The message said Frank and his friend Jason had called the recruiter, and he went to their school but they were on an assembly schedule and were already gone. I thought that was odd as Frank has often said to hell with he is not interested in joining the military. The recruiter called back before Frank got home, I said we had the message.

When Frank got home, we put our heads together and found 3 lies.

1. Frank did not call him.
2. Frank did not do anything with Jason. Jason's last name is alphabetically right after Frank's. (The recruiter was going down a list.)
3. They weren't on an assembly schedule, they were at school all day.

Interesting. The liar recruiter called again 2 days later. And I told him Frank had not called him. He said, "If that's what you want to believe." Implying that my son is lying to me. I told him, "You're the liar."

You'd think being called on his lies, he would give up. Nope, he called again yesterday. Frank was here and told the liar recruiter, "No, I didn't call you. I did not call you." Sadly Maturely, he did not let loose with some of the great lines he and his friends had come up with. Such as, "I'd love to join the Navy. Do you take bed-wetting pedophilic arsonists?"

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

In honor of the Oscars tomorrow night, I'd like to present the award winning best performance of an actress in a leading role for [my hand is obscuring it but I think it is] 1974. Yes, Heather Leigh was my stage name. (Apologies for the bad photo quality. My scanner is not working, so I have to photograph the old stuff.) Just pretend it has that actressy soft focus quality.

My first and best BFF, or as I think I'll call her, my Darling Diva Frau (because she is an opera singer and lives in Germany. Hey there, if you read my blog you can pick a better name!) won in 1973 for her performance as Dorothy/ Munchkin/ Wizard in The Wizard of Oz. I think that year I won Best Supporting Actress for my performances as Scarecrow/ Tin Man/ Cowardly Lion/ Glinda/ Wicked Witch/ Flying Monkey/ Munchkin. Gosh, I was thin (for me). I still have that metallic 70s dress, stashed away in the recesses of my closet.

She was always the producer of the awards show. And she was kind.

So I won in 1974 for my performance in the self-written-and-directed film, Asylum. Yes, I played a crazy woman.

After that I lost track of the years and the awards. The celebrity goes to your head and it's all a blur.

We made The Great Stars, all singing/all dancing. (I think I ripped it off from Ziegfeld Follies.)

BFF/DDF starred as Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire. And I had a stellar performance as Stella. But, well, our Stanley was just a little fey. [whimsical; strange; otherworldly: a strange child with a mysterious smile and a fey manner. ] Really, DDF, doesn't he still have a mysterious smile?

Thanks for the memories.

It's taxing...

It's that time again: time to meet the accountant. I've been working on his packet of papers this afternoon, which is not my favorite way to spend a Saturday. But it's better than doing the taxes ourselves. As we get older, things get more complicated. And there are new words like depreciation and schedules, which for me go in one ear and out the other. So I lay it all out on his desk, and he does the dirty work. He's a nice guy though. We've known him since grade school (small town, you know).

Anyway, this little ditty has been going through my head all afternoon.

Why is Ernest Earnest?

Ernest's teacher found my blog one day, and called him "Ernest" all day long. Ernest says the teacher wondered why I chose that pseudonym. Here's why:

When I came up with the names I thought there was a phrase, "frank and earnest." Now when I google the phrase I only come up with a comic strip. But the definitions of the words fit my sons:

(There they are, being earnest and frank while playing WoW.)

ear·nest –adjective
1. serious in intention, purpose, or effort; sincerely zealous: an earnest worker.
2. showing depth and sincerity of feeling: earnest words; an earnest entreaty.
3. seriously important; demanding or receiving serious attention. –noun
4. full seriousness, as of intention or purpose: to speak in earnest.

Yes, Ernest is serious and sincere.

frank –adjective
1. direct and unreserved in speech; straightforward; sincere: Her criticism of my work was frank but absolutely fair.
2. without inhibition or subterfuge; direct; undisguised: a frank appeal for financial aid.

And Frank is direct and straightforward.

Well, they're other things too. But as far as blog pseudonyms go, they seem to fit pretty well.

Darn it, we forgot the cowbell!

The Tour of California hit our small town today. And wouldn't you know, Ernest left his cowbell at home. But he was busy taking pictures...he hopes to use one for the school paper. I'm not a sports person, but there is something quite exciting about a world class event coming through your town. This was a time trial. We watched some riders take off, then walked to the finish line a block away and watched others finish. Then we walked up past the 1K point, and watched them come around the corner shown above. It was a fun day, and fortunately didn't rain any more than a few sprinkles. I was prepared with my rain coat, but the HH, Ernest, and his friend Ern were manly men so of course they didn't have jackets.

A Deer at School

This morning as I was walking past the gym, on my way to the classroom at 8:55 a.m., some third graders called to me, "Did you see the deer?" I had seen the butt of a brown animal run up the street when I got out of the car. I thought it was a large dog, but it was a real deer. It had meandered through the playground, in the hall, back out to the playground, to the street. (Prepositions!) The awesome third grade teacher (she taught Andrew Stanton, director of Finding Nemo, and he came back to visit her a few years ago!) was worried: did the deer get back to the park? I thought the deer was heading in the right direction.

A few years ago, we had our own backyard visitors:

Dental Update

(post updated at 8 p.m. pacific time)

Thanks for all your support. Yes, I made it through. They complimented me on what a good patient I was. I said, "Hey I'm numb, let's just get it over with." I did ask for more novocaine 2/3 of the way through. Let's put this into perspective. It was far less painful than childbirth, over in an hour and a half, and less intrusive than a vaginal exam.

I must give credit to my dentist. Dr. Dwayne Elder is a great dentist. He's totally nice. He consistently receives "Best Dentist" awards from our local newspaper surveys.

(Beloved Niece, note this in case you need a new dentist after you MOVE ON SUNDAY!!!) Although if you are going for the totally blond/blue Mormon cute dentist, that would be Dr. Haws. His totally cute son is my secret mom crush in first grade.

I'm doing all this preventative work so I won't feel a tooth crack in my mouth and have to go to the emergency room for painkillers which happened once to my handy husband which he doesn't ever ever ever want to go through again!

And as always I have told/advised/lectured my kids...take care of your teeth.

Have a great evening. I'm going to have a glass of wine (or several) as a pain-forgetter. It doesn't require killing... yet. But I can feel my lips again! Hooray!

The Dentist

Our whole family has spent a lot of time at the dentist lately. We've all had cleanings. That's it for Frank and Ernest. They haven't had any cavities in their adult teeth yet.

Being, ah, "mature," the HH and I have old fillings that need to be replaced. He's had a few things done.

Apparently my need is worse than his. I have a mouth full of very old fillings. Was the water not fluoridated where I grew up? I remember years of taking little white fluoride pills. The dentist is going through my whole mouth, section by section. On Wed. I go in for part three: 3 crowns and a filling. Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh! But then I'll have movie star molars in 3/4 of my mouth.

A semi-free day off

The Handv Husband went to work. (Although his office has pool, foosball, free sodas, and pizza on payday, they have to work on President's day.)

Frank returned from a sleepover, then left for an eating event. The Triple King Challenge at FatBurger. Why is he into all you can eat thingies? He doesn't eat that much. He couldn't finish it. One friend did, and got a t-shirt and his picture taken.

Ernest woke up on time and thought it was a school day. When he realized it wasn't, he lay down on my bed to pet the cat. That used up a couple hours. Later he went to Ern's house. (He has a friend with the same name. It gets confusing.)

I waited till noon when the termite man came to talk about the procedures that will be done to my rental house this week. By Saturday, because it will be occupied (Yay, Yay, Yay) on Sunday. That ate up the morning.

And what else did I do...seems like nothing.

• Purged 3 grocery bags of books. Oh, the pain. But they were avalanching off the bookcase so it had to be done.
• Folded laundry. (On Saturday, HH said it was "done." That meant through the dryer only, not sorted, folded and dispersed to the various wearers. It was in a pile on the floor.)
• Threw away the pantyhose I don't wear anymore. Thanks, Jen at Juggling Life.
• Washed 2 batches of dishes. The new faucet does things backwards.
• Composed 3 thank you cards on the computer.
• Located or completed samples of the Danish paper hearts to go with the instructions for my m-i-l and one of my teachers.
• Completed the extremely late Christmas present for my friends in Germany (this required some small town shopping).
• Shopped for 2 birthday gifts for my Rose Sisters. (Ditto.) Darn, I didn't get anything for myself.

I think the problem was...with everyone out of the house I should have done something self-indulgent.

I am regretting it now.
I still have to make dinner.

You know your baby's growing up...

...when you help him write a resume. And you look at it and objectively say, "I'd hire him."

Valentine Assembly Line

Ernest decided to make home-made valentines this year. He likes the woven heart, a traditional Scandinavian Christmas decoration. So he and I had an assembly line going for a couple nights.

We stuffed each heart with 3 Hershey's kisses. As you would expect, many kisses were eaten before they made it into the valentine. Ernest unwrapped a very strange looking one...

(Sorry the picture is not clear.) The unwrapped kiss on the right looked like a swirl of poo to us... ... ... OK, he's a boy. He ate it anyway.

Famous or Unknown?

Can you guess which paintings were done by famous artists? Take this quiz. (I found the link on How about Orange.)

Not to make you feel bad, but I got 100%.

Update!

Update: Keys found. (Reported earlier.) Retainer found (under the "Cat Baby" stuffed toy.)

Yes, there was a third problem of the day. I TOLD YOU SO. I knew something else would happen. (And not just my bladder TMI problem, 'cause that was yesterday. And today... etc.) Oh, where was I??

Frank's new laptop stopped working. He embarked on a quest with Dell online technical chat...took several hours...and he is out of the room now and I stopped paying attention. And now I hear snoring out of my bedroom, so you know I will be in a crappy mood tomorrow.

At least I have my keys.

Goodnight, all.

Mrs. G keeps stealing my boyfriends..

And she won't share. Johnny Depp? I would share. Viggo? I would share. I'm a generous person.

So I must lay claim right now. But I'm too tired to import pictures. Use your imagination. I am trying to get the names typed correctly, which is all I can hope for at this moment. And I will share them with all of you.

The rest of the Lord of the Rings Boyfriends: Sean Bean as Boromir, Karl Urban as Eomer, David Wenham as Faramir, and since Mrs. G. stole Viggo, I will adopt Billy Boyd as my secret Hobbit Boyfriend, Pippin.

Literary boyfriend: Stephen King

Rocker boyfriend: The Boss

Education crush: too close to real life to call a boyfriend, let's just call it a MomCrush... on the band teacher, who didn't know what kale was in the market (I didn't either...I wish I could have solved his problem... He's a bearded Brendan Fraser with brown eyes.)

Political boyfriend: Barack's really cute, but his peeps didn't call me once. Clinton's peeps (I hate that her posters just call her Hillary but I guess that's her way of being NOT Bill) called me 4 times . I kinda dig Hillary's husband....he could mess my dress anytime. So it's Hill for Prez, and still Bill for my secret crush. Oh wait, I think Mrs. G took him too.

Newscaster crush: Chris Cuomo from GMA. I can't find a good picture. He is adorable. And only 10 years younger. But I haven't found a smiling picture yet. Just watch GMA. You'll see.

That's only 9. (My own handy husband I don't think Mrs. G knows about. And my Ultra-Secret girlfriend..Angelina. She doesn't count.)

I'm publishing right now, before Mrs. G steals someone else, but I reserve the right to add more someones later.

Lost and Found

I mentioned that Ernest lost his retainer . He got the replacement yesterday and wore it last night like a good boy. About 20 minutes after he got up this morning, he said to himself, "Where's my retainer?" It must be lost in his bed somewhere. (This also happened when he first got the retainers.) When he comes home we'll have to tear his bed apart to find it. It would be just too embarassing to confess another loss to the orthodontist.

Then it was my turn. As I was just about to leave for work, I couldn't find my keys. I had taken Ernest to school and returned home, so they were lost somewhere in the house. I retraced my steps, searched all the usual (and unusual) places I forgetfully leave them. Nothing. The Handy Husband came back after his dental appointment, and helped me look. He discovered them in the pantry. (I had gone in there for a bottle of water and gotten distracted by a cardboard box that needed to go in the recycling.) Oh dear. Did I feel foolish!

Will there be a third incident today?

Jolly Green Giant

The Jolly Green Giant is being assembled in my garage. What is it? Three guesses.

A litterbox for a herd of cats? A mini bowling alley? Gumby's coffin? Nope. Give up? A new base for a shuffleboard game. The handy husband's employers acquired one from a defunct bar. While the varnished shuffleboard and equipment were in good shape, the base was trashed. Too many drunks leaned on it? So they asked him to make a new base. Why green, you ask? Why, to match the company's pool table and foosball table. Yes, it's THAT a cool place to work.

I forgot to mention: The Jolly Green Giant is FOURTEEN FEET LONG!

Frank helped the HH lift some heavy stuff, but Ernest spent the whole weekend with his dad, even getting to use power tools (pony tail for safety):

Ernest worked so hard all weekend he earned himself a pair of Heelys of his very own!

Tomorrow I might get my garage back. The Jolly Green Giant is moving to the empty garage of our rental house (no, I'm not a real estate mogul; it was my late mother's house) for finishing. Ho ho ho! Or is the JGG forbidden from saying that just like Santa?