Frank's Fruit Fest

Frank's been scavenging in my fruit bowl a lot! He made a great smoothie the other night.

One apple (Gala).



One pear (Bosc. Wow, pears have their own website).

("Mom, should I peel them?" I said yes. With my ultra-sharp new peeler.)



Six strawberries.

Orange juice.



Blend.

Enjoy. That's all that was left, before I remembered to take the picture. It was delicious.


Ernest tried this today and left the apple unpeeled. Still delish. I love to see my sons creating in the kitchen.

7 things

I received this beauty from Jenn at Perspective Required and all I have to do is list 7 interesting things about myself.



Here goes:

1. I have a really hard time thinking of these things.
2. I am obsessive about my cheese slicer.
3. My closet is horrible -- it looks like a hoarder lives in there.
4. My taxes are done.
5. But I think the refund is already spent!
6. I cook a real dinner almost every night.
7. I'm thinking of starting a food blog to document all that cooking.

If you're reading this, you're a beautiful blogger too and the award is your for the copying!

Signs of Spring 2010

I see the light. It feels like spring now.



I've changed the artwork...



and found some spring clothes.



I've discovered that rotating my growing collection of knicknacks really helps with the dust problem. I've got an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party theme going...







I'm sure the men in the house are cringing. But I'm happy.

Happy Spring! Bloom Away!

Champions

First place! Go Warriors tennis team!

Smug face, or just getting the hair out of his mouth?


We moms were chatting at their last practice and in unison, we all said, "What a great group of kids."


Congratulations 2010 Boy's Tennis Team! And thanks to their great coaches!

Age Activated

My magical sister-in-law forwarded me this e-mail. Funny, it describes me perfectly!

I had a post in December describing me bouncing around the house. And last week I started off thinking Monday was Tuesday and confused the heck out of my Facebook friends.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my20checks
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

As I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but qu ite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Gathering Moss

I feel like I've been gathering moss all winter, like my patio.


I took these pictures in February after our big rain. It's drying up now.



Time to start rolling. I have a head full of plans, but it's so hard to get moving. I'm thinking of: a small vegetable garden in what is now a dried out bed of stunted straggly volunteer alyssum, my topsy turvy tomato planter (do they really work?), and 2 New Zealand tea trees in pots on the front porch.

What are your plans for spring, garden or otherwise?

Warm Fuzzies

It's been getting harder and harder to get him out of the house on time in the mornings. This is why:



Who can resist a warm fuzzy?

Jack Chooses a Different Tree

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

A Bit of Blarney for St. Patrick's Day

Wait a minute, that's Caplin Rous! I borrowed that picture from his Facebook page.

Here I am last year at Blarney Castle! The Handy Husband and I had the most wonderful trip to Dublin last year, except for the food poisoning. (Beware of hotel tartar sauce and department store mayonnaise. Everything else was perfectly fresh and delicious!)



We're prepared for St. Pat's this year with corned beef (real, not canned. What do I do with that slab of meat? Pot roast it?) and various Irish beverages. We missed out on the tour of the Jameson Distillery, due to the abovementioned misfortune, so I picked up a bottle at the grocery store. (Although the Irish folks he talked to recommended a different whiskey.)



And then there's Guinness. Which tastes best --



at the end of the climb to the top of the brewery.



Cans and bottles just don't do it. Although these cans are a good size!



Happy St. Patrick's Day and I hope we get back to Ireland someday!

Pi Day

In addition to Daylight Savings Time (which I didn't realize until yesterday!), it is also Pi Day.

Remember our Pi pie?

Happy Pi Day, everyone.

CapyBabies

I've expressed my love of capybaras before. We are so lucky! The zoo has 4 new capybaras, 3 males and one female. We saw them on Sunday! New friends for Caplin Rous! Here are 3/4ths of them.




The zoo has a video of them on Facebook. I wonder what their names are.

I was so happy to have the company of my Beloved Niece and Great-Nephews. Mr. Thomas does not like creepy crawly bugs, but he does like snakes. McQueen is partial to the snow leopards. We had a fun time, while Ernest went to a meeting. Next Saturday is Princess Day (a thinly disguised frog appreciation event). Ernest usually has to play a frog. I wonder if he gets kissed?

In the Pink

This one's for Debbie, who always makes me feel in the pink!

The flamingos were gorgeous on Sunday.








While I love my little point and shoot camera, it is impossible to see the display in the sunlight. Usually I am shooting blind, so I was happily surprised that these pictures came out. I miss a viewfinder.

PupPees

Don't get me wrong, I love Barbies and confess I have a collection of them, but the other night I was screaming in disgust over a Barbie commercial.

For her Barbie's piddling dog.

I can't find the exact commercial on YouTube, but they've apparently updated the toy since this one was made:



Because now, the paper turns YELLOW.

Eeew, just eeew.

Sunday Funnies

Hello, did they just photograph my sons' rooms? It's uncanny! Frank's even got the Christmas lights.

For Jen

This post has been dillying and dallying and whiling away its time in my drafts area, so the references are a little out of date. But still....I think it's worthwhile.

Here's a shout out to someone who makes my day every time I read her blog, a great friend and blogger: JenontheEdge. We've had a few things in common lately.

Like Jen, I also write on my hands. Only on the front, where I can see it.


That does not stand for Up-Chuck, University of California, Un-Clear, or even Unlimited Calimari lunch, or something else that might be interesting -- it's just to tell me, "Small Town Mom, you have to do upper campus lunch duty at the last minute so you better not forget it!" (I took the photo after I got home.) And there's nothing wrong with a Sharpie, Jen. I used to do belly dance tattoos with Sharpies. The ink comes off nicely with a baby wipe.

The really funny thing is that I scrubbed this note off that night, but the next day? I had to write it again! (We've had a lot of people out sick.)

Jen also had an informative post about recycling glasses. I can barely see out of these but they work OK for the stumbling to and from the bathroom to put in the contacts. I donated 5 pairs of Frank's old glasses to the Lion's Club.


Just recently, Jen saw an interesting Barbie display. Stay tuned tomorrow for my most recent Barbie reaction.

Saving Someone's Job

This story caught my eye, about an employee who volunteered to be laid off so someone else's job would be saved.

I was in a similar position 10 years ago. I worked for an insurance company TPA (Third Party Administrator, but we didn't put cover sheets on the TPA reports!). We were unsure if our contract would be renewed. If it was, we were told that one person would need to be laid off. And I volunteered to be that person. I was dithering about staying home with the then-4-year Ernest, my elderly mother needed more assistance, and my husband and I agreed it would be the best thing for our family. Unfortunately I couldn't save someone else's job -- the contract was not renewed and everyone was laid off.

Now I work as an aide at an elementary school. I get laid off every year. I am on a strange cusp, always the last aide to be laid off, and the first to be rehired. I feel a similar dilemma coming on this year. I won't have a child at the school next year, I don't really need the job, and I'm a little burnt out. There is a wonderful young woman, hired after me, who has a teaching credential, but she is working as an aide. She was a long-term sub last year...I think if the school had an opening, they would hire her. However, just like last year they are now pink-slipping all the nontentured teachers, so there is slim hope of her getting a teaching position. And she's pregnant! And...

I tell you right now, if my quitting would save her aide job I would do it in an instant.

Baby Steps

For the first time since I started this blog in December 2006, I changed my template. Adventurous, huh? I mean, I don't want to rush into things!

But there were so many choices, I was a little overwhelmed.

I always find when I am overwhelmed, inaction is the easiest course for me. Like the thought of dusting all my knicknacks is overwhelming, so they just sit there growing little coats of fur. My beloved niece was telling me about weeding her garden...baby steps, she said. That's good advice, my dear.

I'll go dust one thing.

Catalina

Frank had some great class trips in middle school:

• 6th grade - Yosemite in winter. Snow! I know many of you are sick of snow right now, but that was his first time in the snow and it was so exciting.
• 7th grade - Band trip to Great America.
• 8th grade - Mexico with his Spanish class. That's when he came back with this hairdo:

Ernest has not been so lucky with his middle school trips.

• 6th grade - Yosemite trip cancelled permanently because too many chaperones slipped and broke bones the year before. They went to Hollywood instead. It doesn't quite compare.
• 7th grade - no band trip because the current band teacher doesn't do that.
• 8th grade - no Spanish trip because there is no Spanish class any more. No Washington D.C. trip either because no one wanted to plan it.

However, the school administration came through and planned a trip to Catalina for the 8th graders. Ernest and classmates went last week and had a great time -- there was snorkeling and kayaking and a lot more. Only, he DIDN'T TAKE A CAMERA! Sigh.

It's Cool, Dude

Priceless! Thanks to my Friend Debbie W for the picture. They are playing R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
They're doing it again tonight at a fund raiser for our school's music and art programs.

Go Norway!

I'm so proud to be half Norwegian.

Not only do their skiers dance on a mountaintop,



but also the Norwegian curlers' pants have their own Facebook page.



Go NORWAY!

School Stories part Whatever

It's been an exciting week at Smalltown School, and it's only Tuesday.

Yesterday, at Ernest's Upper Campus, the science teacher did an experiment with potassium and there was a lot of smoke and the alarm went off. That was perhaps the most exciting science class ever.

In my first grade neck of the woods, we've found interesting things on the playground. On Monday, it was a giant pile of doggie-doo. Today, it was a dead crow. Yes -- there it is:



First graders are sooooooo curious about these strange things! And of course when you tell them, "Step back, move away," they all creep closer.

Tomorrow will be equally thrilling -- the 8th graders have to be at school at 4 a.m. to leave for their 3-day trip to Catalina. I envy the two families that live right across the street from the school -- they can just push their kids out the door and they are there. The Handy Husband suggested drawing straws to see who will take Matthew to school, but I don't think he was serious.

Who is going to have to take Ernest to school at 4 a.m.? Smalltown Mom Handy Husband Frank view results

UPDATE: In a boldly surprising move, the Handy Husband volunteered to take Ernest at 4 a.m. Then he went to work early. Hooray for the HH!

Don't Call Me

Tootsie's got a complaint about telemarketers. That brought back vivid memories of one of my earliest blog posts (the fourth, to be exact) about the time when the Soap Opera Digest telemarketer swore at me. I can still hear his nasty voice in my mind. Ah, memories.

Funny thing, they still keep calling. They called today, as a matter of fact. I've asked them over and over again to put me on a "do not call" list. I try to keep my temper, really I do.

But I no longer succumb to phone solicitations. My alma mater, police charities, cancer societies, surveys...those are this month's most recent callers...sorry folks, you are SOOL (def. #2). I signed up for the national "Do Not Call" registry. Why isn't it working?

Please feel free to vent here...what's your biggest telemarketer complaint?

Mon Amour Secret

Valentine's day seems to be the perfect time to express my love for...



Ah, Pepe. Pepe my love.






Happy Valentine's Day.

National Condom Week

My M-I-L clued me in that this is national condom week, but I haven't found an official website. I love the line from The World According to Garp. "No glove, no love." If the glove fits, wear it.

Condoms are comical in Japan: all photos by Frank, 2008.

Pants Kingdom

What the ?? you are asking? I don't know either. A friend in Taiwan sent this to the Handy Husband today. Click on the picture for a better view.

"Even the biggest of birds can fit in our pants."

Methinks their translator substituted "birds" for another word meaning male chickens. But that's a green owl in there.

100

Today is the 100th day of school. That's a big thing for the little kids. They bring projects with 100 things, make hats and noisemakers, and parade around the school. For the staff, it means it's downhill from here on -- 80 days left!

What are you celebrating today?

The Wrong Box

I have an update on the mysterious package, which was supposedly sent by me (it wasn't) to the wrong address in England and caused me a very annoying 5 a.m. phone call.

Well, it came back to me. From England. Even though it really wasn't me that sent it. The customs declaration said clothing valued at $700. I was tempted to open it, but instead...

I took it to our local UPS store and fortunately was able to talk to someone who knew what he was doing. Here's a shout out to competent customer service personnel!!!

Probably my phone number was entered by mistake (one slipped digit can make a lot of difference -- I've had a lot of wrong numbers for a local cabinet shop). After he looked it up, he recalled some other packages going to England that day, sent by English people. He said he'd look into it, so I left the package there. This mystery is out of Nancy Drew's hands.

And as far as the real Wrong Box? That's where I learned everything I know about tontines. If they never find the owner of the box, maybe I will get it back in the end. That's sort of tontine-like.

I still wonder what was in it.

Jelly Beans

Ernest's 8th grade class took a field trip to the Reagan Library last week. I skipped this one...hanging with the whole class of 8th graders is too much like lunch duty! However, I am driving to Hearst Castle for the next CJSF field trip.

Ernest liked Air Force One a lot, but he couldn't take pictures inside. He was fascinated with how they built the building. The side walls were built, the plane was put in, then they added the end walls and the roof. My curious architect.


Now this is an interesting portrait.

Scary jelly bean teeth!


The kids were told to dress like you're going to work at the White House. Ernest had a white dress shirt and tie, and since he didn't have a suit jacket he wore his trench coat. I'm sure they wear trench coats in DC in the winter.

I did find a blue pinstripe suit jacket in my costume closet, but Ernest didn't want to wear it. It clashed with his black pants. That was a thrift shop find for Frank when he had a history class dress-up a couple years ago. I found a packet of Pop Tarts in the pocket. Eeew, gross, 2-3 year old Pop Tarts!

I wonder how old those jelly beans are.

Temptation

That donut hole lasted about 5 seconds after I took the picture. I'm trying to save the rice krispie treat for dessert.

But this is the real temptation:


Alice in Wonderland jewelry. I want.

What have you been tempted by today?