Word Cloud

From Snapshirts.com

Did I Stump You?

Helpful Hints:

Movies: #3 is, believe it or not, a Julie Andrews movie. #6 just won an Oscar for Best Song, and #7 is a Disney classic listed on my profile.

Songs: #5 is a 1979 song, their first single I believe, from a British band whose name means something like "big trouble." #9 won 2004's Grammy Award for Best Rock Song, and the band's name has a color in it. I'm going to show #9 to my kids. THEY'LL get it! (UPDATE- Vanessa got #9.)

Feel free to Google!

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE
I forgot #2. Hitchcock. Think voyeur. Think Disturbia. Think of the name of my car (yet another blog, search for it, I am too tired to find the link!) Think that Jimmy Stewart is 50's hot in pajamas. Not really hot, just 50's hot.
I also forgot #5. One of the funniest films of 1974, this is now a Broadway musical. NOT The Producers. Think of the horses snorting whenever this character's name was said.

I'm literally GIVING IT AWAY.

Song Meme

I'm doing Bunny's song meme. Bunny, you better get #1!

1. Let the show begin, I've been ready. I know Bunny would get it. Hello, Hooray by Alice Cooper.
2. Is there anybody alive out there? Not Pink Floyd, that's "Is there anybody out there?" Hint: I blogged about the concert featuring this song. Finally, Bunny got it. Bruce with Radio Nowhere.
3. Darling, won't you ease my worried mind? Layla, Eric Clapton. Right on, Vanessa.
4. What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play. Cabaret. My m-i-l got this one.
5. You feel all right when you hear that music ring. Yay, Vanessa! Dire Straits, Sultans of Swing.
6. Here we are now, entertain us. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana, again guessed by Vanessa.
7. Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move, Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove. Bunny's right, it's Led Zep. Black Dog.
8. Every time I look in the mirror, All these lines on my face getting clearer, The past is gone. Aerosmith, Dream On. Thanks, SarahO.
9. And if I catch it coming back my way, I'm gonna serve it to you, And that aint what you want to hear, But thats what I'll do. At Last! Vanessa got 7 Nation Army, the White Stripes.
10. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. The Beatles, The End. Thanks, Echo.

Hey, that made a little story! Rock on!

Doing Something Right

Ernest's teacher sent out some e-mails yesterday morning to arrange a St. Patrick's day party for the class. After things were arranged, he sent out this note:

This class is so terrific & I'm going to miss them like heck next year. Today they all pulled together to root on a classmate who has major trouble running the mile. They rallied around this guy to where he made it and felt good for the first time ever in PE. That's just too cool. All this without even a hint from Mr. H [PE teacher]. That tells us the character of these kids. You're all doing something right at home & it shows. Values, ethics, and integrity are HUGE. Thanks for helping make my year a very special one with very special students.

Wow. Thank you, Mr. P. And it goes both ways. He's been teaching for 29 years and he is still enthusiastic. He is so inspirational with the kids, encouraging them to be eager learners and always providing a great, interactive learning experience.

They are a great class. I've known many of them since ages 4-6. This year I've volunteered for our Meet the Masters art program and it's been a joy to guide them through the creative projects.

Except for today, Friday at the end of the day, when they started sliming their hands with tempera paint like kindergarteners! Oh, well, they're still kids. (P.S. Ernest was not in on the paint sliming. He was working on the school paper. He'll have to finish his project at home.)

Google Reader, and Why I Blog

Thanks to Jenn at Juggling Life , I discovered Google Reader. Now I can read even more blogs in less time. Whoo-hoo! And not waste time clicking on the folks who haven't posted in forever.

Like my beloved niece. [Nagging auntie.] (OK, she has an excuse. She moved, and her internet connection is not working. But she could come use my computer if she wanted to. Because now we are only 2 BLOCKS AWAY!) And then there is Yaxlich, who used to be a really funny 3rd person blogger but then he stopped.

Mrs. G rocks as a 3rd person blogger. And SHE posts all the time.

So this leads me to wonder, why do I blog? I have no aspirations WHATEVER to be a writer. I don't even like talking to people, sometimes.

I started with a couple posts on MySpace. I only went on MySpace to see what my son was doing. But there was that blog thingy. I talked/wrote/blogged about our raccoon invasion. Then I realized I liked the bloggy form of communication. And I discovered Blogger was a better space for that. I hoped that instead of sending newsy little e-mails to my friends and family, they would follow me to Blogger.

Friends? So fickle. Family, a little better. My lovely mother-in-law reads, and comments occasionally. My father, also. Beloved Niece was reading a lot before she moved. Friends, hey what the heck is up with you? Sign up on Google Reader, why dont'cha.

But the best thing about blogging is all the new friends I have discovered. It's like having pen pals, without the wait and the postage. Thank you to all. Bunny Bunster, Jenn at Juggling Life, Jen on the Edge, Vanessa at Random Ramblings (alphabetical) are my regular readers and I thank you and love sharing your lives, too. And I find that you get what you give: like if I comment on Mrs. G, she comments back. I am trying to lurk less and comment more. Which is challenging for me, because I am not a joiner, I am the quiet one in the back of the class. Who knows the answer but is afraid to raise her hand.

Movie Meme Hint

3 of the movies are on my profile.

3 a.m.

I have issues. With sleep. There's nothing I love more than sleeping all night long without getting woken up. Unfortunately many things interfere: having to go to the bathroom, husband snoring, cat purring and nudging and standing on my feet, raccoon noises, skunk smells, etc.

Last night I woke to a loud rumbling and window rattling. Living in California, my first thought was "Earthquake? But the bed's not shaking." As the brain haze cleared, I looked at the clock. 3:05 a.m. The next thought was, "A missle launch?" There's an air force base 25 miles away. "At 3 in the morning? Hmmmm." Then the brain hazed over again and fortunately I fell asleep again.

Yep. A local paper reported: "The United Launch Alliance (ULA) Atlas 5 rocket, which stands 19 stories high, climbed above Space Launch Complex-3 on South Base at 3:02 a.m. today, ducking in and out of clouds while thundering off the pad."

Why, oh why, did they have to launch it at 3 a.m.?

The Movie Meme

I've been meaning to do the movie meme for a while. Here are the meme rules:
1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. GUESSERS: NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions.
6. One movie guess per blogger.
7. Put your guesses in the comments.

I have so many favorite movies, it's hard to choose.

1. Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold? Shaun of the Dead. Ernest got this one.

2. Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times? He likes the way his wife welcomes him home. Rear Window. Thanks Echo!

3. The person in that room was naked from the waist down, and if that was a woman, then she is wearing the greatest disguise I have ever seen!

4. Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures! A Clockwork Orange. Frank got this one.

5. YES. YES. Say it. He vas my... BOYFRIEND.

6. During the daytime people would want to hear songs that they know, just songs that they recognize. I play these song at night or I wouldn't make any money. People wouldn't listen. Thank you, Barbra. Once, which just won an Oscar for Best Song, "Falling Slowly."

7. And I still think what I thunk before. I'm going to get those wands. (sorry, Jen. It's not Harry Potter.)

8. What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Tootsie Farklepants got it! Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

9. You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs. Tootsie again, Rocky Horror Picture Show.

10. No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. Gone With the Wind, guessed by Bunny Bunster .

Sometimes it's hard to find good quotes!

Bono Vox?

Bono Vox? Bono Rox!

Ernest wanted to know Bono's real name so we looked it up on WikiPedia.

Paul David Hewson.

I discovered he is only 8 days older than me! He was born on my evil uncle's birthday, but that's another story.

My Grace, and the new Tar-Zhay!

My car is over 7 years old, but I only named her last year. Another mom at school talked about her van, "good old Bess. " I thought about my car and decided to name her Grace. For Grace Kelly. Both Graces are beautiful, intelligent, and sophisticated. And my Grace has a lot of power when she needs it. I think the real Grace did, too.

I thought my Grace had a stroke while driving on Friday, but it turned out to be just a loose radiator hose clamp. Ladies, let us keep our clamps tight!

Bunny, they didn't wash her again because they had already washed her on Monday and she was still perfect clean. But they did wash the "blood" out of the engine compartment! And it was free: towing, repair and delivery!

I've had older car babies that racked up the miles when the HH and I commuted together 90+ miles a day. * I've had this car while I've been a Smalltown Mom so that's cut down considerably on her mileage. We do take her on all our long haul trips.

*90 miles x 5 days a week = 450. 450 miles x 50 (allowing 2 weeks vacation)=22,500 miles a year. 22,500 miles a year x 7 years = 157,500 miles. So, Grace got it easy! A good thing I am not commuting anymore.

The HH drives about half the miles a year (because he drives with a friend) and then half it again between cars because when he drives he alternates between the truck and his Lotus.

My pathetic math works out that he puts 5,625 miles per year on each of his 2 vehicles. [I couldn't find the calculator so I solved the division problems out on paper. Hey, at least I CAN do multiplication and long division! Ernest checked some of it.] I think that's third grade math!!!!

This mileage calculation excludes pleasure trips.

Which for the HH is up and down a twisty windy country road on the weekend.

And for me is a trip to a major shopping store.

On Saturday, Frank has to drive 75 miles to a meeting. I am going with him so I can visit the new 2-story Tar-Zhay!!! They have a shopping cart escalator. I can't wait.

She's back!

So here's my baby getting towed away on Friday:
Here's her "blood" on the garage floor:

She came home yesterday, good as 7-years-old new.

It's "Buffet" Night

That's what I call it when I clean out the refrigerator and serve leftovers. We have:

1) Entree: a lot of tri-tip and a little chicken from last night's barbecue. There's also some spaghetti.
2) Side dishes: potato salad, pasta salad, chili beans, and garlic bread (from last night), Spanish rice and cheesy broccoli rice, (from earlier in the week). I threw out the mashed potatoes of questionable age.
3) Greens: A freshly made salad!

I Don't Recommend

...because it smells like shampoo. Like a really great shampoo. But it's for dishes. It's not right.

It gets Worse!

I was driving Frank home from school (because he can't drive with the splint) when suddenly POOF, out came a cloud of greasy liquid from the front corner of the car! It had been making a small whiny noise earlier in the day. This is what it looked like inside:

I e-mailed the Handy Husband several messy pictures and he talked with the dealer (who had just serviced the car on Monday for $1400!). They say it was a radiator hose or clamp that blew. They are sending a tow truck.

Some better news, after a doctor's visit: Frank's wrist is slightly better and is only sprained. He has an ace bandage instead of the splint. Yay!

Since I am now carless, and Frank's wrist is too sore to use the stick shift, I am going to steal his car for the weekend! He can drive his dad's automatic truck if he has to.

It's been one of those weeks...

...so please let Friday be OK...

Problems this week, from smallest to biggest:

4) Ernest was assigned a biography report Monday. Forgot the papers at school. Remembered this Wednesday coming home, so we detoured to the library and he checked out books on Leonardo da Vinci. Found out today that someone had already chosed Leo. Came up with some alternatives. Mom suggested he call the teacher to be sure those weren't chosen already. Einstein was, Neil Armstrong wasn't. Mom made trips to 2 librarys to bring home books while Ernest worked on other homework. Nice of me, huh?

3) My car with 90,000 miles on it was serviced at a cost of $1400. And it also needs new tires.

2) We got our tax returns back from the accountant. The HH and I owe big bucks, the kids owe big bucks too! (Part of their college fund was transferred to another institution, hence capital gains.) Ouch.

#1) problem of the week. HH took Frank to a band meeting last night. Frank was heelying outside before the meeting started. Oops, a wheel caught in a crack and he went splat. Hurt his wrist and chipped his two top front teeth. They sat through the meeting. When they came home at 9:30 p.m. I looked at the way Frank was cradling his arm and said, "I'm taking him to the ER." (Cradling it the same way he did when he had a broken arm at age 12.) 2 1/2 hours later... no visible fracture, a splint, a sling, and some Vicodin. And a dentist's appointment this morning. Thank you for our wonderful dentist, Dr. Elder, who squeezed Frank in between other appointments and FIXED HIS TEETH. This is why Dr. Elder wins all those "best dentist" polls!

After Frank and I left the dentist's office, Frank hugged me and thanked me. Aaaawww.

Shiny Things

The Handy Husband's Road & Track arrived today. The shiny things on the cover are sure to catch his eye when he gets home.

Easter Egg colors!

The shiny things on the back of the J. Crew catalog caught MY eye!

But I rarely wear high heels anymore. And they cost $198! And my wide little hooves probably wouldn't even fit into them. Yet, they are adorable. Sigh.....

Now I am remembering my yellow snakeskin pumps from 1986. I loved those shoes.

And my red/black snakeskin pumps with black heels, which replaced the ruby slippers with black bows from 1983, after a heel broke off when I tripped on the steps at W Sola St. (I bought the snakeskins at lunch hour right after the rubies broke, but I had the rubies repaired later.)

... and the purple ones and the pink ones and the green sequined ones from Christmas 1990 and... Excuse me while I have a Meg Ryan moment.

And here's my Handy Husband's shiny thing:

He says he has a moment every time he sits in it.

Sunday afternoon.

The men of the house went off to do men things: Handy Husband tinkered on his car in the garage. Frank ninja-ed (like here and here). Ernest rode bikes with his cousin, McQueen.

So I watched Becoming Jane.

By the time they were all back the movie was over and I was bored, so I cleaned. Some of you may know I hate cleaning. Is this because my mother was not a great housekeeper, or because I worked as a motel maid in high school? Anyway, I was so bored I cleaned the blinds in the dining room, and then the kitchen. Then the kitchen tchotchkes had to be cleaned too. Here's my clean kitchen window area, including my Valentine's Day present. (The new faucet.)

I got culture today...

Cultural events this weekend.... (Unusual.)

Ernest was invited to a harpsichord class this morning. Very cool. He reports that the keys are much narrower, and it feels different. The key action plucks the strings, instead of a hammer hitting the strings on the piano. I have a video, but I have to figure out how to get it on here.

Then, miracle of miracles, Frank and I went to the theatah to see "Othello." Yes, my seventeen year old son accompanied me to Shakespeare. I told him it had a great villain. Oh yes it did! And how many modern villains have been derived from Iago's treachery? I felt like I was watching a soap opera.

Andrew Philpot as Iago

And may I say I have a tiny little mom crush on the actor who played Iago (who I occasionally see in real life because his daughter is in one of my classes and takes piano lessons right before Ernest). Look at the flare of his nostril!

Corey Jones as Othello, Vanessa Ballam as Desdemona

And a really big crush on Othello, because I don't know him in real life.

Photos from PCPA Theaterfest.

Concert Season

Concert Season is gearing up again...

1. We just got tickets for a repeat of Rush. Before last summer, I was "not that into" Rush, but the HH recommended we go. We saw them at the Hollywood Bowl last summer. Totally awesome. Neal Peart had the hugest drum set, ever. FYI, The Rock Band game features "Tom Sawyer."


2. Michael Buble (I don't know how to make the accent mark) , Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, oh excuse me did I repeat myself, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, will be playing for 2 nights only 45 miles away from me. My niece and I WILL be going. Husbands are staying at home. Tickets go on sale Friday. But the HH has to buy them for me because I can't get on the internet at 10 a.m. Isn't he a kind loving husband? To buy Michael Buble tickets for his lovely wife and niece? We think so. Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble, Michael Buble.

I feel so young...

You Act Like You Are 25 Years Old

You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

What Age Do You Act?

Is this because I like the White Stripes?

In the Navy... NOT!!

A couple weeks ago Frank had a phone message from a lying bastard local naval recruiter. (OK, you can see where this is headed.)

The message said Frank and his friend Jason had called the recruiter, and he went to their school but they were on an assembly schedule and were already gone. I thought that was odd as Frank has often said to hell with he is not interested in joining the military. The recruiter called back before Frank got home, I said we had the message.

When Frank got home, we put our heads together and found 3 lies.

1. Frank did not call him.
2. Frank did not do anything with Jason. Jason's last name is alphabetically right after Frank's. (The recruiter was going down a list.)
3. They weren't on an assembly schedule, they were at school all day.

Interesting. The liar recruiter called again 2 days later. And I told him Frank had not called him. He said, "If that's what you want to believe." Implying that my son is lying to me. I told him, "You're the liar."

You'd think being called on his lies, he would give up. Nope, he called again yesterday. Frank was here and told the liar recruiter, "No, I didn't call you. I did not call you." Sadly Maturely, he did not let loose with some of the great lines he and his friends had come up with. Such as, "I'd love to join the Navy. Do you take bed-wetting pedophilic arsonists?"

It's taxing...

It's that time again: time to meet the accountant. I've been working on his packet of papers this afternoon, which is not my favorite way to spend a Saturday. But it's better than doing the taxes ourselves. As we get older, things get more complicated. And there are new words like depreciation and schedules, which for me go in one ear and out the other. So I lay it all out on his desk, and he does the dirty work. He's a nice guy though. We've known him since grade school (small town, you know).

Anyway, this little ditty has been going through my head all afternoon.

Why is Ernest Earnest?

Ernest's teacher found my blog one day, and called him "Ernest" all day long. Ernest says the teacher wondered why I chose that pseudonym. Here's why:

When I came up with the names I thought there was a phrase, "frank and earnest." Now when I google the phrase I only come up with a comic strip. But the definitions of the words fit my sons:

(There they are, being earnest and frank while playing WoW.)

ear·nest –adjective
1. serious in intention, purpose, or effort; sincerely zealous: an earnest worker.
2. showing depth and sincerity of feeling: earnest words; an earnest entreaty.
3. seriously important; demanding or receiving serious attention. –noun
4. full seriousness, as of intention or purpose: to speak in earnest.

Yes, Ernest is serious and sincere.

frank –adjective
1. direct and unreserved in speech; straightforward; sincere: Her criticism of my work was frank but absolutely fair.
2. without inhibition or subterfuge; direct; undisguised: a frank appeal for financial aid.

And Frank is direct and straightforward.

Well, they're other things too. But as far as blog pseudonyms go, they seem to fit pretty well.

Darn it, we forgot the cowbell!

The Tour of California hit our small town today. And wouldn't you know, Ernest left his cowbell at home. But he was busy taking pictures...he hopes to use one for the school paper. I'm not a sports person, but there is something quite exciting about a world class event coming through your town. This was a time trial. We watched some riders take off, then walked to the finish line a block away and watched others finish. Then we walked up past the 1K point, and watched them come around the corner shown above. It was a fun day, and fortunately didn't rain any more than a few sprinkles. I was prepared with my rain coat, but the HH, Ernest, and his friend Ern were manly men so of course they didn't have jackets.

A Deer at School

This morning as I was walking past the gym, on my way to the classroom at 8:55 a.m., some third graders called to me, "Did you see the deer?" I had seen the butt of a brown animal run up the street when I got out of the car. I thought it was a large dog, but it was a real deer. It had meandered through the playground, in the hall, back out to the playground, to the street. (Prepositions!) The awesome third grade teacher (she taught Andrew Stanton, director of Finding Nemo, and he came back to visit her a few years ago!) was worried: did the deer get back to the park? I thought the deer was heading in the right direction.

A few years ago, we had our own backyard visitors:

Dental Update

(post updated at 8 p.m. pacific time)

Thanks for all your support. Yes, I made it through. They complimented me on what a good patient I was. I said, "Hey I'm numb, let's just get it over with." I did ask for more novocaine 2/3 of the way through. Let's put this into perspective. It was far less painful than childbirth, over in an hour and a half, and less intrusive than a vaginal exam.

I must give credit to my dentist. Dr. Dwayne Elder is a great dentist. He's totally nice. He consistently receives "Best Dentist" awards from our local newspaper surveys.

(Beloved Niece, note this in case you need a new dentist after you MOVE ON SUNDAY!!!) Although if you are going for the totally blond/blue Mormon cute dentist, that would be Dr. Haws. His totally cute son is my secret mom crush in first grade.

I'm doing all this preventative work so I won't feel a tooth crack in my mouth and have to go to the emergency room for painkillers which happened once to my handy husband which he doesn't ever ever ever want to go through again!

And as always I have told/advised/lectured my kids...take care of your teeth.

Have a great evening. I'm going to have a glass of wine (or several) as a pain-forgetter. It doesn't require killing... yet. But I can feel my lips again! Hooray!

The Dentist

Our whole family has spent a lot of time at the dentist lately. We've all had cleanings. That's it for Frank and Ernest. They haven't had any cavities in their adult teeth yet.

Being, ah, "mature," the HH and I have old fillings that need to be replaced. He's had a few things done.

Apparently my need is worse than his. I have a mouth full of very old fillings. Was the water not fluoridated where I grew up? I remember years of taking little white fluoride pills. The dentist is going through my whole mouth, section by section. On Wed. I go in for part three: 3 crowns and a filling. Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh! But then I'll have movie star molars in 3/4 of my mouth.

A semi-free day off

The Handv Husband went to work. (Although his office has pool, foosball, free sodas, and pizza on payday, they have to work on President's day.)

Frank returned from a sleepover, then left for an eating event. The Triple King Challenge at FatBurger. Why is he into all you can eat thingies? He doesn't eat that much. He couldn't finish it. One friend did, and got a t-shirt and his picture taken.

Ernest woke up on time and thought it was a school day. When he realized it wasn't, he lay down on my bed to pet the cat. That used up a couple hours. Later he went to Ern's house. (He has a friend with the same name. It gets confusing.)

I waited till noon when the termite man came to talk about the procedures that will be done to my rental house this week. By Saturday, because it will be occupied (Yay, Yay, Yay) on Sunday. That ate up the morning.

And what else did I do...seems like nothing.

• Purged 3 grocery bags of books. Oh, the pain. But they were avalanching off the bookcase so it had to be done.
• Folded laundry. (On Saturday, HH said it was "done." That meant through the dryer only, not sorted, folded and dispersed to the various wearers. It was in a pile on the floor.)
• Threw away the pantyhose I don't wear anymore. Thanks, Jen at Juggling Life.
• Washed 2 batches of dishes. The new faucet does things backwards.
• Composed 3 thank you cards on the computer.
• Located or completed samples of the Danish paper hearts to go with the instructions for my m-i-l and one of my teachers.
• Completed the extremely late Christmas present for my friends in Germany (this required some small town shopping).
• Shopped for 2 birthday gifts for my Rose Sisters. (Ditto.) Darn, I didn't get anything for myself.

I think the problem was...with everyone out of the house I should have done something self-indulgent.

I am regretting it now.
I still have to make dinner.

You know your baby's growing up...

...when you help him write a resume. And you look at it and objectively say, "I'd hire him."

Valentine Assembly Line

Ernest decided to make home-made valentines this year. He likes the woven heart, a traditional Scandinavian Christmas decoration. So he and I had an assembly line going for a couple nights.

We stuffed each heart with 3 Hershey's kisses. As you would expect, many kisses were eaten before they made it into the valentine. Ernest unwrapped a very strange looking one...

(Sorry the picture is not clear.) The unwrapped kiss on the right looked like a swirl of poo to us... ... ... OK, he's a boy. He ate it anyway.

Famous or Unknown?

Can you guess which paintings were done by famous artists? Take this quiz. (I found the link on How about Orange.)

Not to make you feel bad, but I got 100%.

Update!

Update: Keys found. (Reported earlier.) Retainer found (under the "Cat Baby" stuffed toy.)

Yes, there was a third problem of the day. I TOLD YOU SO. I knew something else would happen. (And not just my bladder TMI problem, 'cause that was yesterday. And today... etc.) Oh, where was I??

Frank's new laptop stopped working. He embarked on a quest with Dell online technical chat...took several hours...and he is out of the room now and I stopped paying attention. And now I hear snoring out of my bedroom, so you know I will be in a crappy mood tomorrow.

At least I have my keys.

Goodnight, all.

Lost and Found

I mentioned that Ernest lost his retainer . He got the replacement yesterday and wore it last night like a good boy. About 20 minutes after he got up this morning, he said to himself, "Where's my retainer?" It must be lost in his bed somewhere. (This also happened when he first got the retainers.) When he comes home we'll have to tear his bed apart to find it. It would be just too embarassing to confess another loss to the orthodontist.

Then it was my turn. As I was just about to leave for work, I couldn't find my keys. I had taken Ernest to school and returned home, so they were lost somewhere in the house. I retraced my steps, searched all the usual (and unusual) places I forgetfully leave them. Nothing. The Handy Husband came back after his dental appointment, and helped me look. He discovered them in the pantry. (I had gone in there for a bottle of water and gotten distracted by a cardboard box that needed to go in the recycling.) Oh dear. Did I feel foolish!

Will there be a third incident today?

Jolly Green Giant

The Jolly Green Giant is being assembled in my garage. What is it? Three guesses.

A litterbox for a herd of cats? A mini bowling alley? Gumby's coffin? Nope. Give up? A new base for a shuffleboard game. The handy husband's employers acquired one from a defunct bar. While the varnished shuffleboard and equipment were in good shape, the base was trashed. Too many drunks leaned on it? So they asked him to make a new base. Why green, you ask? Why, to match the company's pool table and foosball table. Yes, it's THAT a cool place to work.

I forgot to mention: The Jolly Green Giant is FOURTEEN FEET LONG!

Frank helped the HH lift some heavy stuff, but Ernest spent the whole weekend with his dad, even getting to use power tools (pony tail for safety):

Ernest worked so hard all weekend he earned himself a pair of Heelys of his very own!

Tomorrow I might get my garage back. The Jolly Green Giant is moving to the empty garage of our rental house (no, I'm not a real estate mogul; it was my late mother's house) for finishing. Ho ho ho! Or is the JGG forbidden from saying that just like Santa?

This one's for Echo

Here are the red boots. Oh, the obsession over that Batman shirt. I gave it to Frank for his 2nd birthday and he loved it. He cried when I washed it. Once he stood next to the dryer, sobbing, until it was done. (What happened at bedtime? He must have survived. I think he had Batman pajamas.) At Christmas his aunt gave him two more Batman shirts, thank goodness. We accumulated more and more Batman shirts that year. Because that's all he would wear. This phase wore off around his 3rd birthday.

I'm (slowly) making a quilt out of the Batman shirts. The original one is stored in his baby book, but there were enough others (and a couple of Ernest's too).

Results are in!

And the winners are....drumroll....cowbell ringing....

1. Vanessa, with the Valentine surprise. (I'll be surprised too, since I haven't put it together yet.)
2. M-i-l, with chocolate. She doesn't blog, so she will pay hers forward with 30 home made hand decorated cookies for a 3rd grade class she volunteers for. (I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition, but how else could I phrase it? The class for which she volunteers?)
3. Echo, with Stephen King. (Will you ever have time to read it?)

Goody!

And a big mea culpa from me for forgetting to mention that in my pay it forward from Bunny, I also received a CD of awesome music burned especially for me. Thank you again, Bunny! Great favorite stuff!

Responsibilty Checklist

When you have a senior in high school, responsibility is imminent! In 1990, I thought I would just have a baby. I didn't really comprehend that he would grow up. Lucky me, he grew up nicely, with very little trouble. We've been working on what I call "Life Lessons" or responsiblity lessons for a couple years:

• Driving safely, check. BIG check. VERY IMPORTANT check. A+++ on this one.
• No illegal substances. ANOTHER BIG check. Another A+++ Don't think this has ever been a question.
• Keeping your cool car full of gas and clean, check.
• Good grades, check.
• Laundry, check. (He knows how to do it. This year's goal--do it on a regular basis. It's usually all black. One load!)
• Cooking, check (He can cook his favorite foods--pork chops, mashed potatoes, pancakes, fried eggs, and other things I can't think of right now)
• Telling us where you're going, check.
• Locking yourself out and what to do afterwards, the newest check. (Call a locksmith.)
• Appropriate usage of your new lap-top, check pending........
• Job, we'll give him a pass until he talks to the honchos at his dad's office. A little nepotism, but a lot of responsibility. So the checkmark is pending....

And coming soon....

• Going to Japan!....
• Balancing the checkbook...
• Grocery shopping...
• Paying bills...
• Enrolling in college....
• Moving.....(small steps, hope he moves into our upstairs apartment first).

Your Idea of perfection.

I stole this from Vanessa. Feel free to steal from me!

• The perfect outfit: whatever fits and looks good! In my case, from Coldwater Creek.
• The perfect meal: steak and asparagus
• The perfect hangover cure: chicken flavor Cup Noodles
• The perfect road trip: Carmel
• The perfect facial feature: cheekbones and smile
• The perfect drink: Sunstone Merlot
• The perfect song: changes frequently. Currently "Radio Nowhere" by the Boss
• The perfect sign of affection: a friendly touch, a caress, an unexpected hug
• The perfect afternoon: relaxing!
• The perfect vacation: what's perfect, I don't know. My best vacations have been to New York with great food, museums, tall buildings, and ....whoo-hoo... Broadway shows!!!
• The perfect invention: I have 2--the printing press and electricity
• The perfect type of wedding: your heart's desire
• The perfect album: Dark Side of the Moon
• The perfect accent: I do like those Aussie blokes. But Hugh Jackman may fall off my list because I can't find an "official" website for him. And Heath? May he rest in peace.
• The perfect date: dinner and whatever happens afterwards
• The perfect weather: calm and mild, or... cool and rainy with the toasty fireplace
• The perfect party: Hopefully, our 25th anniversary party in September.
• The perfect sport: I don't do sport. I will suggest... belly dancing? (She's definitely not me, she's my teacher.)
• The perfect thing to say: "I love you."
• The perfect day of the week: Friday, the part of the weekend that is farthest away from Monday morning.

Pay It Forward

In December, I was a lucky winner of Bunny's Pay it Forward. I am the proud owner of a jelly-bean pooping reindeer!

And I have been procrastinating as usual about paying it forward. But here goes my version.

I have 3 fabulous prizes:

1. My beloved copy of Stephen King's Duma Key (because books are falling off the shelves and I have to declutter) (and it's a great book!)
2. Something chocolate (probably both milk and dark)
3. or a Valentine-themed mystery gift

Leave a comment with your choice of prize. First come, first served. Then pay it forward on your own blog. For my non-blogging friends, what shall we do? Pay it forward to 3 of your friends.

Ernest's Error

I love alliteration. But "Frank's Fiasco" wasn't really a fiasco. Now "Ernest's Error," that is accurate.

• fi·as·co /fiˈæskoʊ / [fee-as-koh] –noun. a complete and ignominious failure.
• er·ror (ěr'ər) noun. a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention

Key word here: inattention.

Tuesday morning Ernest realized he didn't have his retainer. Working back in time, we established he hadn't had it since Sunday afternoon. Since the out of town pizza party. Since he wrapped it in a napkin and left it by his plate. Since the party trash was thrown away. So we've made a trip to the orthodontist for a replacement. It turns out our "retainer insurance" was on an annual basis, but they don't send out renewal bills. How would I have known! But the orthodontist kindly let us pay the insured price instead of the full price.

Finally, enough cowbell!

I picked Ernest up at school today. He was late, so I walked towards his classroom. What is that funny noise, I wondered? It got worse and worse. Clang-a-CLANG-A-CLANG-A-CLANG-A! Herds of middle-schoolers all shaking.....COWBELLS!

They had been to an assembly for the Amgen Tour of California, which will be in our town February 22. Every child got a souvenir cowbell. Give a child a noisemaker, and of course the child will make noise with it.

So I can truthfully say, I have finally heard enough cowbell.

Wind part 2

By morning the bluster has died down.
Still raining.
Trees OK.
Plastic lawn furniture blown around a little.
No new leaks! Yet. Knock on wood.

Ernest and I are leaving in 2 hours for McQueen's birthday party. We also have a present for Mr. Thomas.

Which Hogwarts House are You?

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

But I tied with Ravenclaw! Aren't they the smart ones?

Your in-depth results are:
Hufflepuff - 12, Ravenclaw - 12,Gryffindor - 10,Slytherin - 7

WIND

I might have mentioned it was blustery today, but now it is really freaking BLOWING outside.

The last time I remember this much wind (1998) we lost 4 trees.

• A beautiful huge California Oak tree on our patio fell toward our house, just on the edge of the roof outside Frank's bedroom, but he didn't even wake up! The sleep of the innocent. This was the saddest tree loss, as it was planted as an acorn by the son of the original owner in 1963-68.
• A pine tree fell on a car, but actually it was beyond our back property line. So not our insurance problem, thank goodness.
• Two already dead trees just tipped over, and smashed our bridge. Yes we, have a bridge to nowhere. There is a hot tub on the other end, but it doesn't work anymore.
• And Ernest did not like the resulting chainsaw noises because they were "youd" (loud). He was only twoish.
• A block away, a pepper tree completely crushed a garage.
• I've got photos.

I'm still hearing the wind blow. Update tomorrow.

I won't cook pizza ever again

So here goes. He suggested making homemade pizza. I bought all the stuff, but I was gone most of the day, so I hoped he would take charge. And let it be known, I hate making pizza. I'll do a Boboli if I have to, but it is stressful. It's never cooked right. You can get really great pizza from so many places, even in our Small Town or neighboring areas.

I cook dinner almost every night, usually a really good dinner that most of us eat. I hoped that since I would be gone most of the day, he would take charge.

So I got home at 5:30 tonight and he wanted me to help and I was freaking. The dough was recalcitrant. My portion would not spread out. And my old thin pans...the teflon was flaking off. When I saw the black mystery specks, I threw that dough away. I pulled out my other "good" cookie sheets, but warned, "These are the insulated kinds, they may not cook right? I have a pizza stone (which I think I suggested before) we could use?" Damn me for my questioning female voice but he gets mad if I out-and-out BITCH. Well, he says he's not mad but it sure feels to me that he does.

I prefer one cook in the kitchen.

I had possibly the smallest hissy fit of my whole life (I went in another room and actually shredded a piece of paper), because it's close to but not quite PMS time. I offered to get Bobolis. but no, he muscled the dough out with a rolling pin. Rectangular. I cowered at the edge of the counter and cut up the sausage and veggies.

He chose not to use the pizza stone. The pizza did not cook thoroughly. The boys ate theirs, we cut ours in half and baked it longer on some other non-insulated pans.

My point is, I cook dinner almost every night. We don't go out that often. I do not need dinner to be an ordeal. I do not need to struggle with it, and question it, and beat it with a rolling pin. I am pissed, but being the passive type I am, I will not say anything. He decided to throw out the leftovers. That says it all.

HH, if you read this, remember I love you, but I this is why I don't want to cook pizza at home anymore.

SNOW!!! Part 2

This is 2 days later, after the clouds cleared.

Clear this morning, and totally blustery tonight. Must....watch....Pooh....

Photo Credit: the Handy Husband. As I was driving the Ernests (their real names are the same, so they must have the same blog names, but the one that's not my son will be Ern for short) to their P2P meeting, I called my HH begging, "When you go to the hardware store, please take a picture of the snow! " He done good.

And to all of you who have REAL honest to goodness inches of snow on your streets, I apologize for getting so excited about this. Where I am, this doesn't happen every year.

The wind is blowing ultrahard... hope we don't lose any trees. That also doesn't happen every year, but this is the most wind we've had in a long time.

Cuddle up with your loved ones and some hot chocolate.

Frank's Fiasco in the Spare 'oom

My cell phone rang at school today. I don't talk on it a lot, so it's either a wrong number or a family emergency. "Private Number Calling." (That's us. I need to un-block us.)

Frank said, "We're locked out of the apartment." That's our spare 'oom. A friend stayed over and they left the key in the 'oom. Ernest visited them, and left the EXTRA key in the 'oom. (You're wondering why he was home on a Friday? He had the day off after finals.)

In the morning they left the 'oom. The door shut. Panic ensued. They tried to pick the lock (evidence of miniature screw drivers and straightened-out paper clips left on the counter). They were unsuccessful.

I told him I didn't think there was another spare 'oom key. He tried the two mystery keys in our key dish but they didn't work. (It's true, one is labled "Mystery" and one is "?." Why do I still keep them?)

So I said, get out the phone book and call a locksmith, and you can pay for it on your VisaBuxx. This 17 year old boy doesn't like to call people, but he did. And the locksmith came and opened the 'oom and everything was fine. And I have to compliment the locksmith, they were there in about an hour.

I was proud of myself for not rushing home and fixing things. For me, that's the hard part of being the mother of a teen: sit back and let him solve the problem. But that's what I need to do.

And his job tomorrow is to go to the hardware store and have some extra keys made.

P.S. the next day: he didn't get the keys made (which ended up to be job #3 on my final list), but he did clean up the room (#1) and figure out how to return his broken Rock Band guitar controller (#2). I gave him a pass on #3 until tomorrow.

SNOW!!!

Not in my yard, but in our mountains about 5-10 miles away. That's pretty exciting in California! I remember in high school, kids would cut school to go to the snow, and bring back a truckload. That still happens. Frank says there was a snowball fight at school until the security guards stopped it. In my day, there were no guards.

Zoolander Syndrome

About two weeks ago, Frank got a pair of Heelys. Yes, they are made in adult sizes. The stage band guys, (Kenny, Kyle and Stan), all have them. They heely around the band room, at school, in the house, in town, at the skate park, etc.

Ernest discovered Frank's Heelys last weekend. Now he is heelying around the house whenever he can get them off Frank's feet.

But both boys have one problem: they can't turn left! I've been calling it Zoolander Syndrome. They are trying hard to overcome this sad and misunderstood affliction.

As Ernest was zipping around the hall this morning, he said "I love the turning of the right path. It's EPIC, I tell you. It's NOT epic going that [i.e. left.]" He has a strange way with words.

Batter Blaster

This new product is a hit here:

It's great to be able to make 1-2 [who am I kidding?] 3-4 pancakes at a time, instead of a big batch. Really nice on a school/work morning!

However, both my kids are pancake chefs so they will continue to be responsible for making the big batch on the weekend.

Finals Week

It's Finals Week for Frank. The final for Stage Band was to master a song on Guitar Hero III. The grades depended on the level they played, something like this:

Easy - game score minus 5 points.
Medium - game score
Hard - game score plus 5 points
Expert - game score plus 10 points.

Frank (Cartman?) and Kyle played expert and passed (95 and 100). Kenny and Stan played easy, and failed. But get this, the teacher played on easy and ALSO FAILED. I'm not sure how much weight this is actually going to have on their grades, but it sure sounds like a fun class!

Let's hope he aces his REAL finals.

Photo Shop

The handy husband recently reconnected with Harold, a buddy from high school. Some of you remember Harold. HH wanted to send him a picture of our family. Do you know how hard it is to find a picture of all 4 of us? (That's why I always get the theme park pictures.) I found this one from The Pirate's Dinner Adventure* in 2006.

The HH was disturbed by the "bald, fat guy." (His words, not mine.) So he put in his 16 year old head, which his friend would recognize:

Then he got creative:

*The Pirate's Dinner Adventure is a pirate version of Medieval Times. Frank thought that seeing pirates dance to "Y.M.C.A." was deeply disturbing.

Whack-A-Mole

The Kindergarteners just started staying in the afternoons. They haven't learned appropriate lunch behaviour yet. Their little bodies keep popping up at the tables, and one day I had this wild image of a giant Whack-A-Mole game.But I'd never whack them with a mallet! Just a gentle verbal reminder to "sit down and eat your sandwich, please." I wonder how many times I say that in 15 minutes!

I'm Feeling a Little Sally Fieldish right now....

"You like me, you really like me."

STORY #1
Last week I had a call from an insurance agent that sold policies for the company I used to work for. He offered me a job! How great is that? The only problem... I hate insurance. I did customer service for 15 years and I don't want to do it anymore. Even though I could make a lot more money.

But I told him thank you, I don't want to burn any bridges, but I just don't want to do insurance anymore, and I like love the vacation schedule at the school. I told him he made my day.

STORY #2

This week I was stressed about the lunch duty because the kinders are staying for lunch now and since one K aide quit, we are shorthanded for lunch. I spoke to our new "interim" principal about it, and besides a "wait and see attitude" about lunch she also asked, would I go back to second grade?

Second grade, my nirvana last year? With the teacher who loved loved loved me? And who communicated with me and treated me like a partner Of course I would go back to second grade, but due to budget cuts I will only be back with her for part of the morning. The other part will be with another second grade teacher (I volunteered for her when Ernest was in 2nd grade) who is very particular, but apparently she wants me too.

P.S. The school secretary called yesterday to say they were putting me on lunch duty all five days but I wouldn't have to do morning recess. WhooHoo.

It feels good .

Pissed Off

There are often little wet spots around my toilet. No one takes responsibility for them. But I know I do my business sitting down, so they are not mine. There are 3 "men" that also use MY bathroom and they all deny any knowledge of any the marks. Who splattered on the back of the toilet seat tonight??? (And left some rebound wetness on the seat, which I sat on, which pissed me off in the first place, which started this whole rant??) Who left a small puddle on the floor to the left of the toilet, between last night when I made Ernest wipe up the previous puddle, and tonight??? There are 3 of them. SOMEONE IS LYING. Do I need to be the bathroom police, and check it out after every pee? I think I do. I am irritated and they have spoiled my party mood.

Thanks, Friends

Thanks for celebrating my 100th blog. It was a big event for me. Thanks to my new and wonderful blog friends! Thanks to my LURKERS for finally showing up...even though I had to e-mail a lot of you! It was a great party and I am vicariously enjoying your food and drink. Maybe we'll do another [virtual] party for my birthday in May. And then there's the 25th anniv. in September. I think that will be a real party.

It's My [Virtual] Party for my 100th Blog

Yes, I've done it! WhooHoo! 100 blogs in just slightly over a year! For an introverted, non-communicative, average writer like me that is an awsome achievement.

I will pause for congratulations... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... thank you, thank you all. I'd like to thank the Academy--- oops, wrong fantasy. If I can find the picture of my 13 year old self accepting the pretend oscar from my BFF's pretend awards show, I'll add it here.

To celebrate, I am hosting a VIRTUAL party on this post. I invite all my loyal (or not) readers to post a comment with your favorite beverage(s) and appetizer(s). Remember, there are no calories at a virtual party! I will start with two choices each since I'm the party girl.

Beverage: Pomegranate Martinis and a Merlot from Sunstone Winery.

Appetizer: Alaskan Rolls from Kabuki and something really decadent like Artichoke Dip (mayo, parmesan, all that great non-diet stuff).

Next?

P.S. Please make a music selection, too. Mine is Bruce, and I'm sure the HH's is Led Zeppelin. Give me 2 songs and I'll put it in the mix for the big 25th anniversary party in September. Maybe the food too!

Thank you friends!

You know you live in a small town when...

...last week's biggest social event was the annual Christmas tree burning:

Watch out people, you're getting too close!

My husband took this picture. (Since I am the anti-social lazy type, I stayed home. Also because I was hoping Frank would show up at home, which he did.) It's hard to see, but on our original, you can see upside down silhouettes of the trees above the fire. Tree ghosts!

I don't know PhotoShop...maybe Ernest can teach me how to crop it so we can get a closeup of the tree ghosts.

Nummies

I made the best chicken salad for lunch one day last week (I confess I stole the idea from the chicken salad sandwich at Panino's).

diced chicken
diced granny smith apple
dried cranberries
mayo
curry powder

I wanted to put nuts in it. I thought I had walnuts but after an exhaustive search of my cupboard, all I found was a bag of pecans which expired in 1999? WTF? I am not THAT bad a housekeeper and I HATE old food. The pecans went in the trash.

The salad was good without the nuts.

Progress

How are you doing on your resolutions?

I won't discuss 1 and 2 - TMI. But #3: "finish what I start" is, surprisingly, coming along OK. Friday I cleaned the oven, Saturday I finished recovering the seat of a child's rocking chair* (after 2 boys it was dirty and frayed) and today I washed the floor.

*Now there is no place to put the chair. It was in the garage for more than 6 months while I procrastinated, and now its space has been taken up by the Rock Band equipment.

The Handy Husband was proactive today, and fixed the washing machine when it started making a noise. He's never fixed the washer before, so he looked up diagrams on the internet. It made the same noise a few months ago and $80 later, it turned out to be a wire in the pump. Probably from his pocket. Same thing this time! Glad he saved us the $80.

Happy Birthday House!

Dear House,

It just occured to me that we have lived in you for 20 years today. Happy Birthday, House! I'm sorry I haven't taken any pretty pictures of you recently. Here's one from this afternoon, a little bare. You would look prettier if your wisteria and roses were in bloom.

Here's your front yard in September 2006. Ernest and I were on our way to a Pirate Faire.
Here's our patio in August 2005, where the Handy Husband has barbecued many a yummy tri-tip . And where Frank and Ernest learned to manage the stilts and pogo stick. (Thank you for keeping them uninjured when they fell off!) Here's the back yard in April 2005, hosting Ernest's 9th birthday party. Give that pinata a good whack! (There's the path where Frank whacked the lights!)
When we saw you, we weren't even intending on buying a new house. We remembered you from when we were kids. The Handy Husband delivered papers to you. So we walked through your open house just for fun. Little did we know we would fall in love.

We did a lot of work on you at first. Kitchen, floors, ceilings, doors, bathroom, even doorknobs! 20 years later you need a few more touchups (like my hair!). You could use new paint and new windows.

Thank you, House, for taking care of us for 20 years. Thank you for not complaining when your empty rooms grew overstuffed or when I forgot to clean you. Thank you for keeping us warm and safe and together as a family. We love you.

Love, Mom, Handy Husband, Frank, Ernest and The Cat.

Squeezing Blood from...

...an orange.

There was a box of blood oranges in my way. So I bought some. The checker mistakenly kindly charged me the navel orange price. What to do with blood oranges? Why, Blood Orange Martinis of course! They were pretty good. Tasted a little bit of the oil in the skin, but that may have been the fault of my vigorous juicing with the pit droid juicer. (Mine's an older version, the handle is not as curved.)
At this time, the Pomegranate Martinis still have the edge. The Handy Husband said he felt like a 50's husband, coming home to a Martini. But I was not wearing a housedress and a frilly apron. I have decided to invest in a real cocktail shaker (Tupperware is not cool) and Martini glasses. When they arrive, I may don the frilly apron as a joke. (Yes, there will be clothes beneath it. There are children in the house.)

Growing Up

Even my youngling is growing up. He doesn't want toys anymore (except for the $$$ lego which we aren't talking about till his birthday).

Today he said, "I need a flash drive. Can we get one at the hardware store?" I only laughed a little, then said, "No, but we can look at RiteAid." We found one. This is so he can move files between school and home, for the school newspaper his GATE class is starting.

Now he is asking me math questions. What the heck are complementary and supplementary angles? I looked that one up on Wickipedia. After the second question , I said, "Ask your brother!"

I don't remember Ernest every being naughty. I used to call him my Angel Baby, because he was so good and looked like a curly haired chubby cherub. He liked to wear costumes year round. One favorite was the silver "robot suit" with helmet, which I made. We just gave that to our g-nephew Mr. Thomas, who expressed an interest in becoming a robot. (We'll need a picture, hint hint.)

A Choice is Made

In my last post I mentioned Frank was taking Calculus instead of Concert Band due to a scheduling conflict. Yesterday he asked if he could switch at the semester. He laid out his reasons: he's taken more than enough math to satisfy the requirements, Calculus is a little boring because they covered most of it last year, he misses band, and the band misses him (the saxophone section is a little weak). So we thought about it, and we thought, "Why not?" Let him have some more fun in his last semester. That would make 2 music classes, 2 computer classes, TA in Physics, and only two classes which require studying: English and Government. Lucky bum! My senior year was crammed with academics.

He's a good kid. He does well in school (even English is better this year), he is a careful driver, he doesn't take drugs, he comes home on time, he doesn't argue with me, he has a great sense of humor...I could go on. I was trying to think of anything really naughty he'd done (besides failing English) and all I could think of was when he was 3 and got hold of a big barbeque spatula and happily went down the backyard path smashing the ceramic lights on his way. We still haven't replaced them all. Fourteen years later.

Rock Band Live -- some names changed to protect the innocent

Yes, ROCK BAND LIVE has performed here in my living room. After the usual Monday all-you-can-eat-taco-night (which Frank used to just be invited to, but now he does the inviting), they all showed up: Frank plus 5 others. Plus Ernest who is now Baby Jesus or Little Jesus.*

There's a South Park name grouping: Frank could be Eric Cartman (some of you know his real name)...but far less disgusting... and his stage band+ friends are Kenny (no one's killed this Kenny), Kyle and Stan (only Stan's real name is different but it uses some the same letters),

Also there was Gonzo, plus the singer in Frank's real garage band^ whom I have not nicknamed yet, and a girl who is the daughter of an English teacher#.

+Stage band: the 7th period class where sometimes they do drumline and sometimes they just jam. Frank couldn't schedule Concert Band because it conflicted with AP calculus B/C. He chose calculus.

^Garage band: In the drummer's garage, they are trying to be a real band. They have played "Paint it Black" in public.

#He got a D- last year, but the teacher still liked him.

*OK, final footnote. We don't want to insult anyone who loves Jesus. Here is the story behind the nickname: 2 years ago, Frank went to Australia and had a home stay. He went to school with the boy from the home stay. Someone at the boy's Christian school shouted out, "It's Jesus" and took Frank's picture with his cell phone. (Frank had lovely long hair and a beard.) So Frank (the older brother) has been called Jesus for a while, and this year when his friends met Ernest (with lovely long hair and no beard) they called him "Little Jesus," or, my favorite "Baby Jesus." No offence meant to anyone, it is based on portraits of Jesus, especially the one that hung on my godmother's wall for 50 years.

This post has gone on long enough. Goodnight!

Centerpiece #3

On Saturday we had an improptu visit from the Beloved Niece and sons. Her sons are technically our great-nephews. That makes me feel old. I'm only 47. (Handy Husband just turned 48). So I cheat and just call them nephews.

So the older (11 in January) g-nephew, a real car guy, provided our centerpiece for the evening. He knows everything about cars.

I was going to call him CarGuy, but that's just too... ordinary and garage-mechanic-y. So I'm going to call him McQueen (as a tribute to both Steve and Lightning) which is uber-cool. If he would prefer another name, he can e-mail me.

His 3.5 year old brother will be called Mr. Thomas. Because he is obsessed with... yeah, you know. Mr. Thomas loves to visit us because we have Thomas videos and Thomas toys (...from the early 1990's. We don't know if they are lead infected but Frank and Ernest survived them OK.) There's "Small Thomas, " the small box of metal Thomas toys. Then there's "Big Thomas," the huge yellow box of Brio trains with some Thomas trains added.

So, McQueen and Mr. Thomas, come back soon.

New Toy

I got a Kindle! See my book blog for details.

http://smalltownmombooks.blogspot.com/2008/01/kindle.html

My resolutions

Not so noble or lofty as some, but doable.

1. Use hand lotion on a regular basis.

2. Ditto dental floss.

3. The biggie: finish what I start! I am the world's best (or is it worst) procrastinator. Today's job: put the Christmas decorations away.

UPDATE on #3, yes all the decorations are put away. And I also put away most of the crap in the "sewing room" aka "spare 'oom" aka "room of one's own" aka "room of requirement" aka "retreat from snoring room." 1/7/08

More Cowbell

Rock Band is very popular here. Yesterday there was a group: As I expected, Ernest was asked to sing, Frank played guitar, his friend (I'll call him Unicycle because he rides one) drummed. Ernest sounded really good! My favorite was "Don't Fear the Reaper." The singer gets to do the cowbell by tapping on the mike.

Shaken, not Stirred

Here's a way to get your anti-oxidants...

Oprah's Pomegranate Martini

1 1/2 cups pomegranate juice
2 oz Absolut Citron vodka
1 oz Cointreau
cup of ice

Shake ingredients in a shaker and pour in chilled Martini glasses.

Tasty, even when shaken in Tupperware and served in a wine glass.

Rock Band is in the Bulding

Frank is setting up his Rock Band video game. I am still asking, "Why did you need this game?," because he and Ernest can play the real instruments. I think Ernest will be forced to sing, because he doesn't want to set up the drums. Apparently there is no bass. Those evil bassophobic game developers.

We're going to leave the room for a while while they get organized.

P.S. Later... drums have been set up. They both like the drums. Now we hear a constant tap tap tap.

Pie

I forgot to post this earlier, but it is important.

Ernest made the pumpkin pie himself. Completely by himself. (At Thanksgiving he had a LITTLE help.) I am quite impressed. Kudos to Ernest.

Ninjas Strike Again!

It's beginning to look (a little) like Christmas

After watching A Christmas Story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and a Charlie Brown Christmas, I feel a little more holiday-like. Today I'm going to take a nap, then start cooking:

That damn man-cold!

So I've had "it", or several "its" since November 30. I like to say that Ozzy made me sick. Cold, cough, laryngytis, and now it feels like it's starting all over again, and I STILL can't talk. AAAAaaarrrrrggggghhhh! I have two vocal ranges: a whisper or a really bass voice which scares both my own children and the ones at school!


I barely got Christmas pulled together for my own family. No cards or letters, they will wait till New Years.


We took a trip to the big town today, most importantly to see Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp Johnny Depp Johnny Depp) and also to buy a ham.

Christmas Party

Here we are, all dolled up for the Handy Husband's Christmas party last night.

His company spares no expense and hosts a really good Christmas party. Good food: "eclectic California cuisine." Good door prizes: many gift certificates, several iPods, and 2 iPhones. (The HH won an iPod shuffle and 50 free songs.) Good alcohol: Lots of it. Greeters at the door handed out margaritas and mojitos. And there were 2 bars. Good band: The HH made me promise I wouldn't make him dance, but two of his friends nagged shamed him into it, so he danced with me once. My cute shoes weren't too good for dancing (wedgies with non-skid soles). But they looked good.

Thank You, Gentle Knight

My Handy Husband went on a quest today, into the dark soulless void of Costco, to acquire a gift for one of our spawn. He was successful in his hunt and brought the gift home, secretly sequestering it in his private vault. I was in another part of our castle, and when I came into our great hall I found a lovely offering from my knight in shining armor:

Unsolicited, Unhinted-For Flowers!!!

And so we must have a little ZepTribute here... to my sweet knight, just reverse the gender:

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all,

Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain,

tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,

together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.

An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles,

your hand in mine, we walk the miles,

Thanks to you it will be done,

for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Centerpiece, number 2

"The Centerpiece" may become a new feature on my blog.

Drumsticks appeared on the table this week, courtesy of Frank and stage band. Then Ernest wanted more cowbell. So I told him where to find one.


Our cowbell does not sound as good as this one...

By the way, Blue Oyster Cult was my first rock concert! With the Handy Husband, who was the Handy Boyfriend back then. This was years before Don't Fear the Reaper.

Man Cold Update

(I had the "woman cold" since the 30th). I caught the "man cold" on the 4th. Today is the 12th and I still have it. The cough, the loss of voice. I sound "like a man, bay-bee!"

Frank has the cough. His voice is already so deep, it hasn't affected it any. Ernest is OK. The Handy Husband thinks he is getting it.

Man Cold

For those of us suffering from colds this week.... Here's a man cold.



Actually, my husband's been really sympathetic today. But this is still funny. I need to netflix this show: Man Stroke Woman from the BBC.

P.S. days later... We watched the DVD and it was great!

Frequently Mistaken For...

CAT--One hell of a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf. - B. Kliban




Here's our version. How to tell a cat from a throw pillow.

This might help.

Centerpiece

One of the kids very carefully placed our centerpiece on the table the other night...

Perhaps we watch a little too much TV? At least we sit at the table most of the time.

When I grew up with my mother and aunt, they never wanted to sit at the table. They usually ate in the living room and I ate in my own room. (My aunt ate everything out of a scummy plastic bowl. We called it her dog bowl.)

After I left for college, they put a couch in the kitchen instead of the table.

So I think I'm pretty functional after all.

Back from Oz

We saw Ozzy Osbourne last night. I can report that he was able to speak reasonably coherently and could walk a semi-straight line. When he came out on stage, I thought "I bet he's got only an hour of performance in him." Well, his show lasted an hour and 20 minutes but 20 minutes of it was an interminable (def. #2) guitar solo. (Some woman liked it enough to flash her breasts at him, which the whole arena saw on the big screen TV. Twice.) So I was spot on!

His voice is shot, he wasn't miked properly, his songs were oddly arranged, he didn't sing Iron man, and he is an attention wh*re. "Do you want to hear another song? Let me f***ing hear you." Over and over. Hey, maybe you can't hear the audience because 1) you are deaf and 2) they don't care that much? And he didn't think that much of the audience. First he tossed a couple of buckets of water on the front rows, then he got off on spraying them with foam. Again and again. I don't think his roadies liked it. One guy had to come out every time and wipe off the TelePrompter in front of his mike.

What did I like? The guitarist's black UtiliKilt. Maybe it was custom made, it was fuller and more ragged. And the opening video montage, which put Ozzy into scenes from movies and TV. As Cap'n Jack Sparrow, he bit the head off a parrot. And he said he was donating the night's proceeds to Sharon's cancer foundation.

And surprisingly, what I liked the best was his opener Rob Zombie.

Well, there was a chick singing first. A group called In This Moment. She wore white kneesocks and a fluffy little girl dress. I think the HH liked that. She screamed a lot, but not as good as Jada Pinkett Smith in Wicked Wisdom. And Jada can stick her tongue out really really far.

Then there was Rob Zombie. I can't watch his movies, but I would definitely see him in concert again. Alone. Without Ozzy.